Ad Infinitum

August 2nd and the grey clouds are a backdrop to a wind that belongs in October, or even April. I dream of Harry Smith Beach, in Barbados. I dream of the smell of the ocean. I dream of the smell of freshly barbecued fish on a Jetty in Mallorca. I dream of midnight feasts on … Read more

A bunch of flowers arrived today. Pink and cerise, red and white. The smell so pungent they beat the Philadelphius in the garden. The first shrub I planted when we moved in 32 years ago. A tall man arrived at 11.00. I greeted him. He held a brief case, me my two hot water bottles. … Read more

Friends and long lost acquaintances have been visiting me. i think they think my days are numbered. Well they are, in a manner of speaking. This morning I woke at 6.00 and climbed into a salty, lavender bath. Lay there for 20 minutes then slipped into bed next to the ‘oosbind. I meditated and fell … Read more

So what has happened in the last 22 days. My aquilegias are bobbing their bonnets all over the garden. Pink, mauve, blue, pink and white, alongside foxgloves, rhododendrons and two massive peony buds that are about to pop. Last Thursday I cut the lawn and managed to do some weeding. I pushed and shoved the … Read more

The birds are battling, who can sing the loudest. It’s 5.00a.m. and I’ve played musical beds. On Thursday we drove to Stanstead airport. Dropped the car off and boarded a flight to Edinburgh. Picked up a hire car and drove 72 miles to Aberfeldy, a lovely little town on the way to Inverness. The landscape … Read more

Worry lorra time twixt now and then. So, as I write the sky’s grey, even though the primroses, forget-me-nots and Tulip tree and carpeting the garden. My feet are freezing, the old git has just laid a big log fire, and I’ve had a mug of homemade veg soup. Onions, leeks, parsley, potatoes and tomatoes. … Read more

Forgive my absence. Tests unresolved, pain unresolved, this morning the consultant sent me a letter that was so out of date I nearly chewed my own eyeballs. It’s tricky isn’t it, that as a long standing member and supporter of the Welfare State, as a long time supporter of everything that is good and noble, … Read more

Trying to remain positive, although my pain would test the patience of a Saint. Spent yesterday in A&E. Blood tests, urine tests, x-ray. They sent me away telling me there was nothing wrong. Even though I was doubled over in pain. An elderly woman in the ward asked everybody that came in her orbit to … Read more

It ain’t been easy, I will admit. The pain has been so excruciating, changing its nature, that I’ve been sleeping on the settee, living on bananas and crying more rivers than Julie and Justin put together. I’ve seen healers, doctors, homeopaths, and nurses. I’ve had appointments and talked about the pain so much I’ve taken … Read more

When we had the flat in Battersea walking outside, when it got dark, was magical. The lights on the river, the lights in houses, red buses with their lights on, restaurants, pubs, 24 hour shops – you get the picture – walking outside in the countryside in the dark requires a torch, sure footedness and … Read more