Jeni Barnett

Thursday comes round quicker these days. One minute we’re eating Sunday fare, then before you know it it’s ‘Strictly Come Prancing’ . Einstein has a lot to say about time and speed and age and stuff, I understand a tiny bit, but only a gnat’s testicle’s worth. I’m ‘right brained’ which means I’ve got as … Read more

We have a NAD STEREO INTEGRATED AMPLIFIER A DENON CD PLAYER a SONY DIGITAL RADIO and a FOSTEX GRAPHIC Equalizer. They stand one on top of each other under a shelf of games and two shelves of CD’s which stand on top of loads of large gardening books and the landline which stands on top … Read more

I was given 6 freshly laid eggs by a delightful family who rescue dogs, chickens and children. The eggs are dated in pencil and now lay in a brown bowl, sitting on a round wooden bread board gifted to me by Anthony Worrall Thompson. The rain has drenched the pear tree outside the window and … Read more

There’s a low sun in the garden. If you place the chair between the shadowy oak tree and the overgrown Laurel bush on the other side of the fence you can get a warm few rays. The smell of autumn pervades. I took the broom to the front garden this morning and swept up piles … Read more

I’ve just watched the Jeremy Paxman documentary about his Parkinson’s Disease. We met a woman who can smell Parkinson’s, a doctor who can see the Parkinson’s mask on a face, and Sharon Osbourne who supports her rocknroll husband Ozzy, who is a Parkinson’s sufferer. The film made me cry. ‘There for the grace of God’ … Read more

I failed maths GCE. I failed it again. I failed it the third time figuring a protractor would not be needed in my chosen profession. I can’t Sudoku. I count on the fingers of both hands when paying for groceries. And yet somehow I manage to do the accounts every month – using a calculator … Read more

The pathetic fallacy of the weather reflecting our mood is playing out in my garden. The leaves on my apples trees drip with rain. My geraniums and begonias are drooping. There is a quiet sadness. The cat comes in his fur soaking wet. Children have snotty noses and our bathroom feels cold. The heating is … Read more

Walking back from the Post Office I tripped on an acorn. Sitting in the front garden an acorn, the size of a ping pong ball, landed on my head. Trudging round the farm I stamped on a snail, bent down to apologise only to find it was another acorn surrounded by even more acorns. This … Read more

In The Telegraph’s list of Britain’s 54 poshest villages, Ightham has been selected as the county’s poshest. The village has Ightham Moat a medieval country house which is surrounded by flower gardens and a vegetable patch. There are dahlias and apple trees, ponds and the medieval house. We looked around the sparkling moat, the sun … Read more

The alarm went off at 6.00. The old git had inadvertently set it and the American woman repeatedly told me it was 6.0’clock/6.0’clock/ 6 0’clock/6 0’clock So I got up. Brushed my teeth according to my Swedish hygienist. Washed my face according to my Swedish face gel And brushed my hair according to years of … Read more