Jeni Barnett

The hospital has a new directive. No longer are the nurses able to give you a little prick. It now has to be a short sharp scratch. No longer can you snigger over a cannula. Whether its a scratch or a prick it still hurts. Looks like a cartographer has been tattooing a map of … Read more

I grew up with grey army blankets. They were coarse and scratchy. We had white linen sheets and soft feather pillows, but the blankets were less than lovely. Blankets were expensive whilst the left overs from the second world war were cheap. We were, however, taught to make our bed with hospital corners. The sheet … Read more

I know a healer who uses Native American rattles to rattle away your grief and intuits your family trauma. When I told her I had four and half year cycles instead of celebrating it she said lets see if we can get rid of them. It surprised me. I now understand she was unhooking me … Read more

Bilions and billions of dollars spent on a rocket flying up and around the moon. Millions of dollars spent on weapons and guns and tanks, While the rest of us stand, heads tilted upwards, to see the rocket flying off for ten days round space. Down here, whilst the astronauts are floating around in their … Read more

You dont ramble in the city, you may wander but you don’t ramble. Wandering through Soho. Wandering round Tower Hill. You don’t ramble up Regents Street you wander and mooch. When I moved down to East Sussex, 40 years ago, I didn’t wander or ramble anywhere. I was fixated on my work. I could have … Read more

It’s 3.00 a.m.and the wind is mighty. I can hear the pentatonic clanging of the mobile in the garden, The fire died around ten o’clock, the house is now silent all the occupants in bed ‘cept me. On Facebook I call Bonnie in Holloway, she dips her hand into a pot, sifting through a pile … Read more

What a time it is. What a time when an unhinged arsehole is leader of the free world. What a time when not agreeing to a war is an act of sedition. What a time when a right wing journalist can stand at a Washington podium and spout hate. I want to write fun stuff … Read more

I’d been working for at least twenty years before I realised there was a revenue stream for the voice. Kate Hardie, a delicious young actress, told me to contact Yakety Yak a voice over agency to see if they would take me on. I called and Helen picked up the phone. ‘Make a show reel, … Read more

I know a woman who decorates her house every five minutes. From pale blue dados to blushing pink borders. I have never said anything but her house is boring. The space is neither comforting nor vibrant it’s just clean. Modern interior design is not my taste. Bland colours and square kitchen islands do not speak … Read more

I tried praying as a child, kneeling at the side of my bed and putting my hands together. I’d seen it in picture books, all be it that it was often blonde white children wearing dressings gowns their hair immaculately combed. I seen them do it. How hard could it be? I didn’t factor in … Read more