Jeni Barnett

32 days since the old git passed. People ask me how I am. ‘Fine.’ I say mechanically ‘Really I am. Fine.’ I put the telly on to watch Wimbledon. Endless commentators talking about Serena Williams, and her age and her career and her comeback. John McEnroe said something and I caved. I broke, after 32 … Read more

The inevitable happened. After years of treatment, years of discomfort. The old git finally gave in. He was 6stone 10lbs and weak. He didnt shave so he had a white wispy beard. He took to his bed and slept. From morning till night. He didn’t move. Maybe a shuffle here and there. He stopped eating. … Read more

I’ve just got back from a 70th birthday party. I sat on a garden settee surrounded by young folk, elderly gentlemen and retired nurses. I sat with my hands clasped like a genteel spinster, which I sort of am now. Looking up at the luscious canopy of friendly trees. The catering was sublime. Choux buns … Read more

The dawter was 2, the old git 44 and I was 40. I found the video of the surprise party, with all our friends, who had come together in the garden. I smoked roll ups, had luscious black hair. Th oosbind was funny and strong whilst the dawter was more cute than cute. As you … Read more

For twelve years I didn’t know what an evening was. Well not in the way that most people have evenings. The ridiculous life of an actor meant that evenings were all about entertaining others, if you’re lucky enough you find a tribe to work with. At school I was guided by Mr.Rangely who grabbed my … Read more

Vesta Tilly, the famous male impersonator and heroine of Queer chanteuse, and Clara Butt a wobbly contralto, lived in St. Aubyn Mansions in Hove actually. Both music hall artists there are two blue plaques declaring their residency. If you walk a few paces towards the pier you will arrive at Marroccos, a wonderful Italian establishment … Read more

How times have changed. In Hansons, a tea shop cum sweet shop, in Boreham Wood high street, Sundays was a trip to the back room for an ice-cream soda. Delicius home made ice-cream; the Sunday papers waiting to be read, the smell of vanilla and the innocent soundtrack of 60’s conversation. Should teenagers wear winkle … Read more

The hospital has a new directive. No longer are the nurses able to give you a little prick. It now has to be a short sharp scratch. No longer can you snigger over a cannula. Whether its a scratch or a prick it still hurts. Looks like a cartographer has been tattooing a map of … Read more

I grew up with grey army blankets. They were coarse and scratchy. We had white linen sheets and soft feather pillows, but the blankets were less than lovely. Blankets were expensive whilst the left overs from the second world war were cheap. We were, however, taught to make our bed with hospital corners. The sheet … Read more

I know a healer who uses Native American rattles to rattle away your grief and intuits your family trauma. When I told her I had four and half year cycles instead of celebrating it she said lets see if we can get rid of them. It surprised me. I now understand she was unhooking me … Read more