Join me from 9-12 on BBC LONDON 94.9 for our MOTHERS DAY SPECIAL. Author and psychotherapist LUCY BERESFORD will be trawling the papers and handing out her wonderful wisdom. I want you to call 0207 224 2000 or text 81333 (starting with the word London) and give out your Mothers Day messages. MESSAGES FOR YOUR … Read more

1-4 from 7-1-8

Dear bloggers all,
Firstly let me say thank you to all of you for your greetings.
Secondly I hope you have all returned to some form of normality – whatever that is.
And thirdly, I hope you will have the decency to avert your eyes as I have dis-robed.
As some of you will be aware I have been clawing my way up the greasy pole of radio.
I slept with as many people as was necessary.
I bribed those of influence.
I networked my way round the bars and drinkings holes of the high and mighty.
It all paid off because just before Christmas I had a phone call from Rob the Agent.
‘Are you sitting down?’ he enquired.
I was indeed perched on a chair at the kitchen table due to my still insulted ankle.
‘How do you fancy five days a week starting on January 7th. Every lunchtime 1 through till 4..
I know I yelped because Jackson looked up from his bean bag.
I jumped up the better to sit down again.
‘How do I fancy it?’ Jim put his thumbs up, Jackson barked his appreciation. ‘Is the Pope a Catholic?’ I retorted.
At 5 o’clock the following morning I awoke thinking I was a victim of an elaborate hoax.
Rob the Agent called.
‘Has it sunk in yet? he beamed.
‘Am I the victim of an elaborate hoax?’ I asked.
‘The final details are being discussed today.’ said my very cool negotiator. ‘Have a good Christmas and sort yourself out for January.’
Rob hung up, I hung up. Jim stood up. I sat down. Jackson got up. I stood up. Jim sat down. Jackson sat down. I sat down. Jim stood up. I jumped up knocked over a glass of cranberry jiuce and hobbled to the sink for a sponge.
Jim left for the theatre, the door slamming behind him.
2007 had come to an end with a bang

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I’m not as thissed as you pink I am

There’s only so many parties you can go to before your toes curl up like dried toast. Monday’s do was all Shoreditch and Chardonnay. Tuesday’s do was all Bloomsbury and Bubbly. Wednesday’s do is all Wandsworth and Wallop. Thursday”s do is all Battersea and Boozy. Friday’s do will be all Green Park and Gluttony. Saturday’s … Read more


The oosbind found out today that he is going to be acting at The Globe from the Bard’s birthday until October so, thank the Lord, we can eat from now until Halloween. Anybody that wants to see Jim will have to book tickets now, or transmute into an American tourist as they snap up the … Read more