Last day of May.

So what has happened in the last 22 days.
My aquilegias are bobbing their bonnets all over the garden. Pink, mauve, blue, pink and white, alongside foxgloves, rhododendrons and two massive peony buds that are about to pop.
Last Thursday I cut the lawn and managed to do some weeding. I pushed and shoved the mower backwards and forwards and rejoiced in the feeling of little pain.
Friday I went up to town for a voiceover. The sun shone and I tied my raincoat round my waist. Met the dawter for lunch in Berwick street – WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO SOHO, CHINESE BILLBOARDS, LANDMARKS TORN DOWN – and then a slow walk to Charing Cross. By the time I reached the old git waiting in the station car park, I was doubled over in agony.
So the doctor expedited her last letter to the Gastroenterologist saying that August 26th was too late to see me and that it WAS urgent!!!!
As I write the rain is raining, the bath is running and my pain is paining. My Scottish man says I’m getting better but we have to get to Scotland again for him to see me, feel me touch me….
The pain changes from ouch to to PERLEESE to what the Fu…….
I’m ‘slight’ according to one doctor, ‘thin’ according to my oldest chum and wasting away according to the cashier in Waitrose.
Pharrell the pheasant visits daily, sometimes his wife Philomena joins him, the ‘oosbind hangs out bird feeders so we can spot woodpeckers, jays, tits and squirrels.
I lie on the lounger and watch them, meditate, watch them again and meditate some more. I’ve caught the sun and look like Art Malik’s Auntigi.
I am getting better but the discomfort is so all encompassing sitting down and writing for longer than ten minutes hurts. Lying watching the telly, after an hour or so, hurts, ( could be the programmes though ) walking around hurts. Driving hurts. I’ve started jumping up and down but yup, after a few minutes, it hurts. I’ve cancelled meetings, weddings, Barmitzvahs and funerals, we’re going to see HAMLET, in the cinema, on June 8th, but I fear after ten minutes of the Bard I may well have to walk round the foyer eating picknmix to quell the pain to jellybean or not to jellybean….
PLAWHATCH organic farm shop provides me with raw cheese, raw milk, raw Kefir, cabbages that are pesticide free and raw chocolate made with raw goats milk. I am attempting to do what the good Scottish Dr. tells me about what and not to eat. I am doing what the lovely Jimbo tells me. Holding my head back and poking out my tongue so he can drip drops of herbal painkiller onto it.
The dawter is releasing her first single ‘CREEPING’ on Friday, and we are delighted that all her hard work is paying off, we wont be going to the launch party no hip-hopstar wants an ailing mother hanging round the speakers. Jim is waiting for confirmation of a film role, whilst I lie around surrendering to being a mystery case that no-one can solve.
More tests are lurking in the wings and then I dread them telling me I have to have a colostomy bag, after all where will I find shoes to match?
Darling bloggers all, I cannot wait to give definitive news about this frigging episode, but as I write I’m none the wiser, I am not dead. I have no intention of dying yet,but sometimes ethenuckinasia appeals, although the trip to Switzerland would be hellish.
Enough of this wingheathon, may June bring you flowers, showers and bundles of joy.

3 thoughts on “Last day of May.”

  1. Bless don’t panic re a Stoma bag I can point you to a fantastic support group where we have loads of laughs and advice on anything.
    I am the carer of hubbys Stoma we call her Ethel so have much experience.
    Shoes ???? Well the nude trend would be a perfect match with the bag for life.
    So don’t worry if a Stoma takes the pain away life will begin again.

  2. Dear Jeni
    I know you must be tired of all the advice coming your way but we all wish we could help. So here is my contribution. A friend had exactly your symptoms and exactly the same reactions from doctors, no one could diagnose her problem. After scans, tests and more scans for nearly nine months, it turned out she had pancreatitis.

  3. Dear Jeni,
    Feel so much for you! Please don’t hold back over telling us how you are because we wonder and then feel greatly concerned if we don’t hear from you for a long time!
    So many of us (I’m in your age group) go down with multiple health problems! When we are felling good we make the most of it! When not we lie low until we can carry on. Like you, I’m blessed with a wonderful hubby who I’ve been with since we were 17! No children, one of my problems!
    Sincerely pray you soon have an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment!
    Like you also, I love music, reading, animals, the countryside and I love gardening! However, have had to alter my garden of late so that I can manage it if my husband mows the small amount of grass, which he does! Ha Ha! Once I kneel down to do some weeding, I’m crawling over to a garden chair to pull myself to my feet!
    I don’t look old but age doesn’t care about such a thing and as health problems creep up, they are life changing! I have a lovely friend half my age who started out as, and still is, my cleaner! Kelly has been with me for over ten years now and we have some great laughs together! I thank God for her love and friendship! Kelly has a lovely household of two lads, a hubby, a dog, 4 cats and two rabbits! All of them reaching a good age as Kelly loves them so much!
    Jeni, I’m thinking of you, as I see others are too! You don’t have to worry about writing a brilliant blog. Just tell it us like it is!
    Love and God Bless xxxxx

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