Jeni Barnett

Oh Dear, Mrs. Jones, having to nit-pick after hours.
Like most creeative poeple I ma extreemely bad at speeeling and grandma.
The frost on the lawn, this morning, was a most welcome sight – normal November weather. Hurrah!.
The old man got up to go to the theatre whilst I lingered a little longer in bed.
When I finally got down stairs the dog was so happy to see me he nuzzled his head between my knees; I had to tickle him behind his ears until Terry Wogan had finished.
We went out for a sprightly walk, then I went out again for a run.
On the way I phrightened a phlock of pheasants who phlew up in the air. I wanted to count them but they were too quick phor me.’Phlip me’ I said phonetically.
On the way back past Mrs.S’s cottage I heard Selina, the nurse, say, ‘Don’t forget, we’re going to the pub for lunch.’

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After 6 hours sleep it was off to the dentist.
This time for the daughter, who amazingly revealed that all of her wisdom teeth had torn through her gums without so much as a yelp.
She had absolutely no pain whatsoever, unlike her mother, who suffered so much she had to take a week off work.
When mine came through I was understudying Rachel Kempson and Denise Coffey in John Osbornes play ‘A Sense of Detachment’ at the Royal Court Theatre in London.
It was a new play that everybody was eager to see.
I had been asked to play the silent wife of the angry husband played by Terence Frisby.
Mr.Frisby was well known for having written the award winning play/film ‘There’s a Girl in my Soup’.
We had met whilst filming the ‘History of Sadlers Wells’ and the ‘History of Pantomime’, but that’s another story.

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Eee by gum but it was fair freezin’ today in Sussex.
I loved it.
The old man and me took the doglet round the houses.
By round the houses I mean, down the road, past half a dozen properties and lots of sycamore trees, no cars though. They closed us down a few years back because Mr. Somerset used to get people driving into his front room, by 1999 six cars had parked on his living room carpet.
Hang a right at the end and suddenly you swing onto a wider than normal path, big enough for a tractor, follow it to the end and you’re at the farm.
Lots of people think it looks like France, the earth, the yellow stone of the cottages and the view. I think it looks like Sussex.
Fields to the left of you and hedges to the right. Past the nursery steps, a wonderful flight of stone stairs that took the servants up to the big house and down again with their baskets of washing.
Left down the avenue where a score of Beech trees stand opposite each other. My tree is the fourth on the right. My pink pearlised lipstick kissing-mark in tact today.
Right through the old style into the Outdoor Pursuit Centre, past Elm and Lime trees.
Past the team building groups. They climb over head on rope walkways hung between the trees, shouting at each other and learning how to build a team!
Down past the big ski slope.
All year, but definitely at this time of year, folk learn how to ski on the bristly matting. The ski chairs clank continuously as they go round and round.

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Thank you for blogging.
I hope some of you heard me reading you out on LBC tonight.
Thank you for calling in.
I actually had a conversation with Chrissie from Carcassone about Toulouse sausages and her preferred method of eating and cooking..
I hope she’s having a safe journey back to England.
She’s in the middle of a three day drive.
And Yes Rob we only had one measly bottle of bubbly at the God parent party because everyone was either cleansing, detoxing, fasting, driving, declaring liver damage or just plain boring. It’s pathetic, just you wait until Christmas, if I have to I will drag in a passing stranger or down at least 17 bottles of Bollie on me own.
One bottle, I know its a disgrace to us bon viveurs.
Now interaction for this week is simple.
WHAT IS THE ONE FOOD THAT HAS CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

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Eighteen ducks sitting on the wall.
Sitting in a line, then one gave a call.
Eighteen ducks flying off the wall.
All in a line, one and all.
Two fat crows sitting on the wall.
Eating biscuits, paper and all.
Two fat crows sitting on the wall.
One flew off when the other gave a call.
Twelve plump seagulls pecking on a wall.
Screeching and hollering one and all.
Two plump seagulls flew off the wall.
The other ten stood and watched them fall.
Six llittle sparrows standing on the wall.
Along came I and frightened them all.
Six little sparrows hiding on the wall
Along came I and ran past them all.
Nine scruffy pigeons sitting on the wall.
A-cooing and a-cahing one and all.
Nine scruffy pigeons scrapping on the wall.
They all joined in the pigeon brawl.
One lonely goose looking at the wall.
Floating on the river like a big rubber ball.
Along came the gander paddling and all.
Two happy geese swimming by the wall.

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