Month: October 2008

Lesley Douglas.

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ch-ch-ch-changes I am sad that Lesley Douglas has resigned from radio 2. I am sad that it came to this. I am amazed at the backlash. Yes I think it’s time all broadcasters everwhere, including myself, are made responsible for everything that comes out of our mouths. I feel sorry for Mr. Ross’s family. I … Read more

Opening my Heartburn

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i finally got my earphones from the travelling agent but I cant use them until I go back to the country, which I will do on Friday and then you won’t see me for dust.
The snow has melted, the ratings are out and Tottenham scored 4-4 with Arsenal.
My lovely Sybil the soothsayer, out in sunny California, hates me for watching football but it’s a family thing past down from father to son to nephew to radio broadcaster. My father would be turning in his grave if he thought I didn’t care about Harry Rednapp….
Now I’ve been a bit quiet for three reasons.
1) I was worried about my audience figures.
2) I was worried about interviewing Michael Parkinson (Sir)
3) I was worried about interviewing Leona Lewis.
In the end it was all okay, of course, but at the time………

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Hard hats and microphones

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How can a person lose an earring twice within as many weeks.
And they are fine earrings. I’ve looked in my drawers – chest of – under the dresser, in my clothes. It has jostled me.
But it is now bedtime. I have done me bit today.
I’ve got blisters from wearing size 3 wellington boots, I’m size four.
Heat rash from wearing a mans sized yellow anorak with zipper.
Itchy follicles from wearing a white hard hat on my little hard head, all in preparation for a life times experience of seeing a shopping city before it opened.
WESTFIELD is big, so big you could spend an entire life time there and still come out with exactly the same shopping that you can get in Bluewater, Thurrock, Chelmsford and Galway.
Still I am one of those folk that has divided opinion about WESTLIFE…..sorry WESTFIELD.

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Sarf East Fashion

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There are good days and sometimes better.
Today was sometimes better.
William Roache – KEN BARLOW off the street – is a gentle, sweet man. He believes what he believes. Doesn’t try to make anybody part of his gang. The paperback version of ‘SOUL on the STREET’ reveals what drives him. Describes his philosophy. He has humour and humility, if Steve Allen had not gone on holiday I wouldn’t have met him.
So thank you Mr. A.
And then CAROLINE TAGGART, came in to talk about her grammar book. She reminded me of a Simmental cow. We have eight of them in the farm next to the cottage. They are smooth and light, blonde and langorous. They have a gentleness about them, their folds of chamis leather skin hanging down by milky bellies. Caroline had that lightness about her, with the smoothness of the Simmentals. She was funny and clever, when the phone started ringing it ‘Was such fun’. to quote one of you callers. I had no idea just how many of you got wound up by bad grammar and pronunciation?
Caroline lives in Pimlico which is why I drove that way to Borough.

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Zeit who?

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Zeitgeist: the spirit, attitude, or general outlook of a specific time or period.
The spirit of our time.
The Zeitgeist, as I write, is uncertainty.
Politicians blaming each other.
Money lenders counting their gains behind closed doors.
Even the scientists in New Delhi, having sent their first rocket to the moon, are being haranged by their countries poorest people.
‘Whilst you visit the moon, we haven’t a grain of rice to rub together.’ they call.
Why today, even I cracked whilst eating salad off a fork. I have used a fork for nigh on 60 years but today the Zeitgeist got to me too.
Instead of taking the fork out of my mouth as I bit down on my beetroot, my teeth met the metal tines and before you could say Zeit who? my front tooth bit the dust, well not the dust, but you know what I man. That’s another trip to the dentist.

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Walk On By

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Two hours of television and my eyes spin round like fruit machines.
I watched Gok – not sure what I feel about him.
I like Joan Rivers joke – a lollipop named after him is a Gok Sucker….
Then I watched Steve Coogan in SUNSHINE. I cried so much it sounded like I had adenoidal trouble.
This evening I walked very fast over Battersea Bridge onto Kings road then turned left towards Worlds End.

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Pillow Talk

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On Saturday I made beef stew with horseradish dumplings, buttery cabbage and celeriac mash for seven of us. We had apple crumble made with the apples from our garden. There was not one crumb left. The satisfaction of the perfect quanitity. We have 3 apple trees they have all done well this year. Some of … Read more

Bedtime Stories

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I went to my acupuncturst. Chatted for a bit and then I lay down on her couch.
The room is tiny. One little white sink on the wall, a mirror hanging over it. A trolley with needles and assorted acupunctual accessories stands in front of an antique medical chest of drawers. in front of which is the aforementioned bed.
The distance between the trolley and the bed is big enough for the patient and acupuncturist to hug.
A chair sits in front of a small desk which sits in front of the window. Books, a malleable skeleton with all the meridian lines drawn on it, various pen pots, card holders and files are neatly laid out on the desk top. A vase, which today held three ‘penis on plates’, you know those lovely rude flowers, stands on the windowsill.
The patient takes the seat. A big, wooden and metal in-laid,antique Chinese chair. It is rounded at the back, has two arms, inner arms, foot holder and a red cushion on the seat. It’s extremely comfortable. The consultation takes place from the chair to the desk, afterwhich I have to pull out the step from under the bed so I can climb on top of it.
I am only small.
Today I had needles in my head, my belly my toes all to help me sleep.

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Monday blues.

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croaky voice, credit crunch felt quite queasy all through lunch. Lots of calls helped me out I whispered, spoke and tried a shout. Drunk my tea, listened more At 4.15 was out the door. Shopped for meat Cooked it down Made Bee laugh Made Jim frown. Now its really time for bed Nice clean pillows … Read more

Skating on thin ice

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One of the most prominent members of the Inuit community, Aqqaluk Lynge pleaded for an end to the expansion of Stansted Airport back in May 2006. His testimony, along with several other Innuit Elders, revealed how 5,000 years of living in the Arctic was being compromised by Global Warming.
People are dying as their world is thawing around them. They truly are skating on thin ice.
Bears are compromised. Good old Sarah Palin shrugs off the threat of their extinction by ingenuously declaring;
‘Oh! They’re okay they’ll adapt to living on the land.’
It’s a pity she hasn’t.
Our Government, that I voted in, are happily giving BAA the go ahead to extend the airport so that 35 million more of us will be taking to the skies adding to the problem.
Just when will they listen.

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