Hastings was hot, so we jumped in the car – that’s not quite true – we slid into the car the skin on my thighs sticking to the seat. Thursday,is our away day so we put Norman the Sat Nav on and headed for Rochester. Not far, but far enough to suck two mints from … Read more

Resignation Ramblings

I’ve got two mosquito bites and a shoulder tan, sitting outside in the garden as Wimbledon wimbles on and Number 10 finally chucks out its rubbish. There is nothing I can say about the arrogant ‘Eton Mess’ that hasn’t already been said by commentators commentating on July 7th’s bombshell, but ramble I must. It feels … Read more

June 24th

In between the train strikes I had a job in London. Friday the 24th of June the day after one walk out and the day before another. I support the RMT and Mick Lynch with all my ancient beating heart. But I digress. I dressed accordingly, a green cardigan over a tee shirt and some … Read more


One of the inmates living on our road opened her garden to the public for charity. I was the 100th to enter her little wooden gate. The old git gave me a fiver and I handed it to Colin who was sitting with the cash box. We arrived late having attempted to get to Hastings. … Read more

June 11th

Since I had no sleep in me, and watching the clock was tedious I decided to get up. 4.44 to be precise and one minute before sunrise I slipped on a sleeveless Puffa jacket, and by that I don’t mean I tripped over it I mean I slipped it over my pyjamas, pushed my feet … Read more

Teetotal be damned.

I don’t drink. And when I do I wobble and sway and can’t walk a straight line. I don’t drink and then Betty Windsor has a 70th anniversary and we had a street party and I wobbled and swayed, couldn’t walk the straight line and fell asleep on the settee the minute I bumbled through … Read more

When Push Comes To Love.

When push comes to shove championing your kids, defending your partner, fighting on behalf of your parent, is what we do. Don’t we? If an arsehole nicks your yunguns’ Tamagotchi or kicks their school rucksack down the road, most of us run to the rescue. My offspring is my responsibility, usually we will not let … Read more


In 1988 I auditioned for London Weekend Telly, got married to the old git after eleven years of living sinfully, and started a four and half year run of feasting before the inevitable famines. We made gardening programmes, life style programmes and whilst I was taken off sitting alongside Frank Bough every Friday on ‘Six … Read more

Scotney Castle

May 12th. 2022. My mother would have been 100 years old today, as it is she contacts me from wherever she is and tells me she has forgiven me for putting her in a home and finds it incredibly funny that the dawter ate her ashes when we chucked her, thats the mother, into the … Read more