To P or not to P?

My basil has wilted round the edges – we need more sun. I keep looking up long range forecasts as if I had some say in the outcome of the weather. I tip-toe though the garden so I don’t slip on the soggy grass. I pinch out buttercups and daisies that are growing abundantly between … Read more

Stinking Willie

The last time I walked the walk the ferns and nettles hadn’t unfurled, today when I walked the walk if I didn’t know where I was going I wouldn’t have known where I was going. The sun baked my shoulders, the grass was forgiving, soft under foot. Then I crossed over the lane through the … Read more

Portreeture

I read today that Bath University’s latest findings for insomniacs is that they stay awake all night (obviously) and by so doing eventually the body resets itself. Well it’s 4.41 a.m and I’ve been into the garden; the birds chattering and the rain drops glistening. Eaten a big, fat, juicy strawberry and a handful of … Read more

What a Cow

Many moooons ago I was in a touring theatre group. From here to there we drove with our revolutionary fervour and a van full of costumes and ideals. We never made the Home Counties though. Our type of political agitprop did not go down well with the comely folk of Tunbridge Wells or Bury St.Edmunds … Read more

Bog Blog

New research reveals that 23 million of us take our phone into the bathroom with us. According to the doctors the bacteria that lands on our mobiles is horrendous. I was invited onto GMB, this morning, as the spokesperson for lavatorial etiquette. I am not a toilet tweeter I don’t surf the net in the … Read more

Bank Hols

Maggie the Magpie is shouting at Dennis the cat, cluck clucking, like an old football rattle. Dennis sits under the red maple, and watches and waits. Mrs.Magpie is protecting her babies and we’re protecting ours. Maggie swoops into the garden and Dennis looks fearful. It’s like a ‘B’ movie version of the Blue Planet, only … Read more

Cummins and Goinns

Dominic Cummins, the voice of reason, the speaker of truth? Boris Johnson, the Son of Satan the husband of Charybdis…..Honestly I’ve been waiting for the mist to clear before I even think about it but it’s like swimming in a bowl of scone batter, like I’m standing behind a glass window watching everything that’s happening … Read more

Borborygmus

Outside the studio we’ve planted runner beans and lettuce, beetroot and courgettes. On the other side of the path there’s two rows of kale, garlic, broadbeans and some pac choy. I scattered over organic slug deterrent, I lay sliced cucumber on metal trays to deter the snails – they don’t like the smell. This morning … Read more

For God’s Sake

Disputes from the bank to an ancient friend Arguments from the DVLA to Scottish Power. Fraud in one bank Then fraud in another. In days of yore the family astrologer would have looked to see if Mars was in retrograde. We had a new moon the other night so maybe all this lunatic activity is … Read more