Nun of your bizness

The Northern man who shares my bed started coughing at 3.30 a.m..
‘Orrible it was.
Whilst he expectorated I turned to BELLERUTH NAPERSTEK. No she wasn’t sharing our bed, I have a series of her cassette tapes. How to sleep, reduce stress, diminish anxiety and divorce your husband all with a flick of a switch.
I ended up falling asleep with the head-phones on, when I awoke I had a large round impression on my cheek it looked like I had been branded with a Sony hot iron.
The news woke me at 7.00.
My PT Instructress was arriving at 7.30, so I had 30 minutes to tie my trainers, brush my teeth, wash my face and get rid of the ring of Sony.
I half hoped that my gym mistress wouldn’t turn up, the rain was teeming down and I felt like silage.

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tuesday news

The Northern man who shares my bed started coughing at 3.30.
‘Orrible it was.
Whilst he expectorated I turned to BELLERUTH NAPERSTEK. No she wasn’t sharing our bed, I have a series of her cassette tapes. How to sleep, reduce stress, diminishing anxiety and divorce your husband all with a flick of a switch.
I ended up falling asleep with the head-phones on, when I woke up I had a large round impression on my cheek I looked like I had been branded with a Sony hot iron.
The news woke me at 7.00.
My PT Instructress was arriving at 7.30, so I had 30 minutes to tie my trainers, brush my teeth, wash my face and get rid of the ring of Sony.
I half hoped that my gym mistress wouldn’t turn up, the rain was teeming down and I felt like silage.

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Happy Go Lucky

‘Do I have to book a ticket for the 8.45 ‘Happy-Go-Lucky’ performance tonight?
I asked the box offfice manager at the Chelsea Cinema.
‘We’ve got 679 tickets available.’ she said humourlessly.
‘So that’ll be a no then?’ I said.
‘Yes’ she said flatly…..
So I’ll toddle off later on and sit in an empty cinema watching Mike Leighs new film.

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A Balmy Evening

The Passover passed over.
I bought so much food we had enough to feed the twelve tribes of Israel.
Friday night I went to a birthday party.
Lots of women wearing elegant black dresses and me in a two piece culotte and top type effort with little pink shoes that pinched my toes.
I didn’t drink but I nibbled on canopes that dropped crumbs all down me velvet.

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Breaking The Mould

I’ve been derrier over decolletage today.
I now know what breaking the mould means. This morning, after taking my gum shield off the plaster cast of my teeth, so that I could bleach them gently with my dentist’s approval, I dropped the plastic holder and my teeth shattered into three.
I truly broke the mould.
Then I procrastrinated over my smoothie.
All due to another late night at The Arcola watching the hoosbind perform rather brilliantly.

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The Oddfather….

I needed to fit so much in so I started at 5.30 a.m.
Firstly I listened to my visualisation tape about diabetes. Knock it on the head John is what I say.
6.00 a.m.
Then I listened to the affirmations on side two, doesn’t matter how many times I listen to it I cant seem to remember the sentences – they are only short for goodness sake.
6.30 a.m.
Flew downstairs and made my smoothie. Pineapple, blueberries, flax oil, linseeds, almonds (5) walnuts (5) brazil nuts (2). Lecithin, spirulina, moca, B1, Lipoic acid, and zinc.
7.00 a.m.
I used a long sundae spoon to scrape off all the bits on the side of the beaker. I do tend to drip the green gunge everywhere and my mouth ends up looking like I’ve fallen face down in a lake in Hawaii.
Fed the cat.
7.15 a.m.
A quick wash.
7.30 a.m.
Quick load of all my bags, the ones I take from London to Sussex, from Sussex to London, books and bits, ingredients and shoes..
Kissed the Northerner.
Tickled the dog
Out the cottage at 7.45 and off to TWells for my dental appointment at 8.15.

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Categories LBC

A New Hair Day

The chicken is cooking, the roomies are watching golf – yes I did say golf – the vegetables are waiting to be tossed in butter and its awfully late.
21.07, although the radio controlled clock in the sitting room is standing at midnight, has time stopped?
I couldn’t cook immediately because I had to drop somebody off at Victoria and then dash to the hairdressers.

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Categories LBC

Talk like a man….

Every day poses a new set of challenges.
I had THE JERSEY BOYS in today.
4 multi talented actor/musicians who are performing as Franky Valli and the Four Seasons in the above.
It was my first time; me + four…radio aint telly (Dur!) so I was told not to let them talk over each other, not to let them get too over excited and to control my little old self.
They were terrific which made my job substantially easier.

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Boiler in the bag

I have white, knitted woollen slippers on.
I have thick winceyette pyjama trousers on with HONEY DEW and BLUEBELL written all over them.
I have a white vest, with lace round the edges on.
I have my fathers khaki v-neck sweater on.
I have a blue cardigan on.
I have a multi coloured fleece on.
Still my thighs are cold.
The heating has packed up in the flat so I look like a sherpa about to mount a peak in Nepal

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Gremlin City

So there I was running in the sunshine having a think and chewing on my bee pollen when the Wandsworth Council gardener made me laugh so much I nearly tripped over his hose.
I ran back through Battersea Square just in case he had another one up his sleeve.
I had a shallow bath with loads of baby bubbles, packed my linen bag and left in time to get into the studio so I could listen to Steve my producer give me all my ideas – and then off I went to the third floor to trail the show.
After a greeny lunch with a smattering of cous cous I took my bag and bits up to the studio to set about Thursday’s extravaganza.
Today, though the gremlins were in…..

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