thursday I think

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23.29. Alan Carr is on the television. I have eaten a bowl of greens and recovered from MONKEY at the Young Vic. Jim and I have jigsawed our days so that cars have gone into the garage, articles written and Vat paid. I am about to try and finish Lucy Beresfords book. SOMEONE I’M NOT. … Read more

Another way home

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From the Houses of Commons to MI6. From Towpath Walk to Battersea Dogs Home. From Battersea Park Road to The Living Room. I left at 4.30, it’s now 18.55. I am so tired I could eat a mattress. I am over emotional and need my armchair. I shall watch Sean Bean being mean, do some … Read more

a box from marmite

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off to walk. Marmites box arrived and all the cards are piling up. Thank you all for your good wishes. The sun is shining, I have managed to meditate and I’ve got a face pack on so it’s hard to move my mouth. Good some would say……

Intolerance

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I have been practicing I WILL SURVIVE.
I’ve re-written the words so that when I stand up on MARCH 26th in CROYDON to celebrate being sixty and old I will be slick and well oiled.
I am having to write some jokes for the evening.
I am having to write some treatments for the radio.
I am having to get my chapters ready for my book.
I am having to read more books than Mad Mick for LBC.
And I have been recovering from the absence of the old git for three weeks. You would think, wouldn’t you that after thirty three years of marital blitz I could get along very well without him.
Well I can but I do not like it so let that be the end of it.
I did FUNNY WOMEN on Sunday night. I was taught a magic act by FAY PRESTO.
I don’t remember it but it went down well. I may do some of it in Croydon. I have been told somebody wants to book me in May to do it again. I kid you not. Magic now already!

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Extremes means Heinz

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You walk some you ride some. You bus some you tube some. You train some you run some. This morning I walked some then treated myself to a Number 24 bus. I was forty-five minutes late. There are more traffic lights aorund Parliament square than there are politicians. I took the train home and walked … Read more

Saturday in Battersday

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A trip to Battersea Park Road.
Up seven flights of stairs each landing stinking of pee….
Into a little flat to look at some material for Sunday’s International Womens day gig.
It’s not the colour I ordered but I’m sure my lovely Shakeel will do the trick.
Down in the lift.

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Waterloo sunset.

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This morning I legged it to Clapham Junction, took the train to Waterloo and walked over Huntingford Bridge.
The air was clear. St. Pauls, The Gherkin and the OXO Tower were stark white against a blue sky.
Most people walking towards me were smiling, the rest of us walking into Charing Cross had that purposeful look that workers get when they think they are late.

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February’s nearly gone.

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I interviewed Colin Firth this morning. He’s tall and, well tall. Then I did a show, I dont know how I did I was exhausted from the weekend. And then the ‘oosbind and I sorted out my 60th birthday bash. It’s now nine o’clock. I’ve got so much to do that I can’t even begin … Read more

Bulbs a plenty

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The pressing need for me to buy a bag of John Innes compost and plant up some left over lame bulbs is now weighing heavily.
So after a sausage sandwich, the ‘oosbind and me will walk up the road and buy the deep, dark soil. Then lunch either on the balcony, if the sun continues to shine, and later some work on AN AUDIENCE WITH which happens in CROYDON on 26th MARCH
Of course it’s a shameless plug, were I STEVE ALLEN I would have filled the place three times over.
But I am not Steve, I am but an ancient mariner crossing the seas of life with nothing but an overdraft and an old git to accompany me.
Last night I went to see KING LEAR at the YOUNG VIC. Second seeing, fell asleep in the same places, but when I was awake it’s exceedingly good.
‘Nothing comes from Nothing’ says the old LEAR. Couldn’t agree more.
At this time in my life it’s better to be in a state of love.
The ‘o’ is The crossword fanatics clue for nothing….
Enough me bulbs need lighting up.

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