Jeni Barnett – Page 96

Ah! Fresh bed Lenin

11 February 2008 by Jeni Barnett

It’s nearly midnight and I have done as much today as a crofter in Orkney does in a week – not that I would know what a crofter does -i’m being metaphorical or is it physical? Anyway after an interminable drive up from Sussex, I arrived at LBC half-an-hour late, due to an incident in … Read more

Hearts and Minds.

7 February 2008 by Jeni Barnett

I nearly got the programme all right.
I’m absorbing the tweekings, they are being exceedingly patient with me.
Anyway when I got back to the flat, having listened to Donald Fagin on my car stereo, very loud, very latin, I changed into my running gear and went out.
The air was a good smack across the cheek.
Two flocks of birds winging their way over Battersea Bridge actually came together and formed a HEART, not for very long, but just long enough for me to think;
Is it?
Isn’t it?
And it was.
Bloomin’ excellent.
On the way back there was a ‘V’ of geese heading for Chelsea harbour.

Heady stuff

6 February 2008 by Jeni Barnett

The sun shone in through my bedroom window, it was so bright that you could have been forgiven for thinking it was March.
I meditated, faced East,and felt the weight of too many sweets courtesy of Steve Allen.
I finally managed to discipline myself sufficiently to do 15 minutes of conditioning.
I then donned my trainers, watch and heart monitor and went out for my first run since insulting my tissue on December 13th.
The river was low, the air clean and clear. The gulls squealed and wheeled over Battersea Bridge, whilst flocks of unidentifiable birds made magical formations in the sky. The native Americans tell you to look for the pictures in them – I always do – this morning I think I saw a bacon sarnie, well I was hungry.

Ms Takes.

5 February 2008 by Jeni Barnett

To Whom It May Concern. Today I got so many junctions wrong I feel sick. Today I managed to undo all the good work I’ve done over the last 9 months. This morning I met the sales team. They were attentive and offered me brownies, croissants and their ears. Then we did the show. I … Read more

weekenders

4 February 2008 by Jeni Barnett

Having a whole weekend with the old man, and not having to think about writing anything, or reading anything, was like going away for a month to the Maldives with only a sarong on my mind.
We slept in, we went to the vet….
Jackson is old but still spirted. I am now in receipt of an address for a hyrdrotherapy pool, an acupuncturist and a vets bill that is bigger than the GNP of Bhutan.
We bought CD’s, we had a coffee out, we shared a cranberry flap-jack, we bought all the newspapers, including the shiny ones with celebrities on the front cover.
Jim played his guitar whilst I sat in front of a blazing fire with David Niven’s autobiography.
We watched ‘Letters to Iow Jima’ , having eaten a splendid little curry, then fell into bed very late and satisfied.

Chinese Bedroom antics

31 January 2008 by Jeni Barnett

I’ve just eaten a meal whilst sitting in a Chinese bed, in a Thai restaurant, with a South African traveller in Battersea.
The bed is six foot by six foot.
Wooden frame.
Low table in the middle of us.
Lots of cushions to sit and lie on.
More an Arabian cushette than a Chinese bed.
My guest crossed his legs, as I did mine.
We sat opposite each other.
I ordered a pot of jasmine tea.
Delicious.
We had spicy prawn cackers to start with then.
1. vegetable tempura with a hot and spicy sauce.
2. fried ricecrackers with something on top.
3. little baby spring rolls with a sweet chili sauce.
4. Thai fishcakes with a hot sauce.

No handsfree I’m not a goldfish

30 January 2008 by Jeni Barnett

When I got into LBC this morning the office was completely empty.
Obviously I thought the whole work force had been invited to a junket and I was being ostracised for missing my ‘news’ cue yesterday.
I opened up my emails, found the top ten list of topics up for grabs and set about reading the papers.
The silence was suddenly broken by a brace of boisterous broadcsters and Steve Allen, they had been to a presentation of the new shape of the station.
I should have been there but I’m not yet on the system so nobody thought to invite me.
I was relieved I can tell you.

I’m walking backwards from Scotland

29 January 2008 by Jeni Barnett

Well, where do I start?
I think I’ll go backwards.
I’ve just called Jim and asked him to make me a file for my funny speeches, I then telephoned a woman from ‘Funny Women’, who I think is going to teach me how to do ‘Stand-Up’. I have eaten my way through a whole cabbage- boiled hard, with a knob of butter and then smothered in three slices of veggie rice cheese. I watched the cheese melt unctiously over the sweet cabbage leaves.
I’ve changed into my purple pyjama trousers with the 2 holes in the back, the small round perforations are the only way I know I’m not wearing them back to front, the outfit is topped off with a horrible blue t-shirt so now I am ready to settle down to upblogdate you all.

THE LANE

24 January 2008 by Jeni Barnett

Thank you for your well wishes. I am back tomorrow. I’ve rested up today because I had to go to the launch of THE LANE, Collin Browns new restaurant in Osbourne Street. It was a real swanky affair. My head hurt and my neck caned but Collin would have been gutted if I had stayed … Read more

Post Boat Spin

23 January 2008 by Jeni Barnett

Spurs win 5-1 and I’ve taken to my bed. I awoke this morning with post-boat spin, nausea. I felt like I was going to die. Jim Davies is ‘me’ for a day, I hope I’m up for it tomorrow. Jackson is fine, although I don’t see enough of him. Gae, my wonder-woman, is doing it … Read more