Jeni Barnett

Monday blues.

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croaky voice, credit crunch felt quite queasy all through lunch. Lots of calls helped me out I whispered, spoke and tried a shout. Drunk my tea, listened more At 4.15 was out the door. Shopped for meat Cooked it down Made Bee laugh Made Jim frown. Now its really time for bed Nice clean pillows … Read more

Skating on thin ice

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One of the most prominent members of the Inuit community, Aqqaluk Lynge pleaded for an end to the expansion of Stansted Airport back in May 2006. His testimony, along with several other Innuit Elders, revealed how 5,000 years of living in the Arctic was being compromised by Global Warming.
People are dying as their world is thawing around them. They truly are skating on thin ice.
Bears are compromised. Good old Sarah Palin shrugs off the threat of their extinction by ingenuously declaring;
‘Oh! They’re okay they’ll adapt to living on the land.’
It’s a pity she hasn’t.
Our Government, that I voted in, are happily giving BAA the go ahead to extend the airport so that 35 million more of us will be taking to the skies adding to the problem.
Just when will they listen.

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Lewisham Nights

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It’s a perfect day for staying in and reading the papers, doing the ironing in front of the radio, watching telly and sleeping in my own bed.
The rain is lashing down. It’s driving in from the South, on a slant, battering the clematis on the cottage wall.
The Virginia Creeper on the spruce tree in the garden is clinging on for dear life.
The heatings on.
My feet are freezing, I’ve left my red wooly socks downstairs, and my belly is rumbling.
It’s gone 11.00 and I havn’t been downstairs yet.
When I woke up this morning I remembered I had done an ‘Audience With…’ which meant a real day of rest, no worrying, no panic, no flutterings, just a day of reading, eating, watching and probably a long hot bath.

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Sweet nothings

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Two sweet potatoes in the oven. One sweet man coming to the flat with my new dungarees and red dress. One sweet acupuncturist who has calmed me down for tomorrow. Hundreds of sweet calls, messages & texts from people wishng me well. A thousand sweet butterflies in my stomach. A million sweet blessings to you … Read more

On the last day of September

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My feet are stuck in four-inch-high-brown- sequinned-shoes. My feet have grey socks on as well the shoes, the better to stretch them. My hands are freezing. My legs are swathed in white and blue pyjama trousers. My torso is covered in a horrible grey cardigan that is loose and comfortable. My hair is out of … Read more

Areeba!

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Tonight I got measured for my dress for an AUDIENCE WITH….
Shakeel has 9 days to buy the material and make it.
I was all of a dither when he was measuring me. Apologising for my lack of waist, width of girth and non-existent six pack.
He was very gentle and understanding and told me had made many dresses for people who had unusual demands.
I felt like Ganesh, all arms, legs and elephant trunks.

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A Shaggy Bitch tail….

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Ok it’s time to talk dirty.
Dirty dogs actually.
Its time to chew the fat about Dalmations.
Back in 2003, or maybe 2 or even 4, Good Food Live took the programme on a jaunt to the US of A.
We visited Washington, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, and some – as the Yanks would say.
We travelled light – a cameraman, a make-up woman, a PA and a fixer. We travelled Business Class, mostly, ate in the best restaurants, went up and down in endless elevators and stayed in the fanciest of places, the fanciest of which was THE INN in LITTLE WASHINGTON.
I’ve just been looking through the photos…..

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A life in the weak of……

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On Monday I met up with a glittering woman who bought me a Nepalese meal and talked to me about writing and publishing. On Tuesday I met up with a clear-headed woman who talked to me about stand-up and shaping a show. On Tueday night I met up with a woman who talked to me … Read more

A Cemetery For Our Time

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I sat in the bath wondering what to wear for the funeral.
Ken Campbell was a man of vision. A luminary, some would say a nutter. He could have cared less what I was wearing. When we worked together he wore a faux fur loin-cloth whilst I strutted my stuff in a drawer string sack that scratched like buggery.
‘Stone Henge Kit The Ancient Brit in the End of The Woad.’ hit the Edinburgh Festival over thirty years ago. I wore orange peel for teeth, cooked dog food on stage and had to apply wet coffee grains to Pans pants to make him look like he had – well you get the picture.
I was nominated as Best Actress and Ken Campbell was deemed to be a genius for our time.
If it all sounds a bit luvvie, forgive me, Ken taught me everything I know about being in the moment. He died in his sleep two weeks ago,
I was about to make my way to Epping Forest Burial Park – a cemetery for our time – which is why I was sitting in the bath wondering what to wear.

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Click what a picture…..

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The big table, in the flat, is covered in photographs. All black and white. Me waving my jazz hands. Me, playing castanets. Me playing the piano. Me posing backwards, straining my head to loook into the camera. Me hugging a drain pipe. Me…. Well you get the picture, so to speak. I am preparing for … Read more