mid July

We drove the dawter to London. Today we received a fine for driving down her road. £65. I went shopping locally. I received a fine for £35. I contested it and got a very long letter telling me I was wasting my time. I told the old git to contest the £65 but he declined. … Read more

Old dogs new pics

There comes a time in every old crone’s life when they have to sit down, take stock, brush themselves off and start all over again. So with that in mind this septuagenarian with a healthy ego made a decision. The old git drove me to Tunbridge Wells station. I sat in the front coach of … Read more


I watched Elton John from the comfort of my living room. His birthday is a day after mine. We Aries always have trouble with our feet, and there was Reggie Dwight stumbling around the stage wearing safe shoes. He said his golden trousers were falling down but that didn’t stop the man from Pinner giving … Read more

Nanny in the Lino

I’ve just come home from a night in Penge. 14 of us sat upstairs, being an audience, in the THE BRIDGE pub. Down the road from Anerley three women acted beautifully in a play about loss and age. Three women in a room the size of my sitting room, reduced me to tears. It’s been … Read more

Philly, Willie and it’s all gone Silly.

I was called up by a TV station to comment on the fall out between Hollie Willoughby and Phillip Schofield. I declined. The following day I was called up to comment on the ever deepening rift between the two presenters. I declined. The following day, whilst talking to the local doctor, outside ‘Specs Savers’, about … Read more

Hymn no 27

When my father died his second wife seemed to forget that he was born a Jew. He had the looks and attitude of an East End market trader – which he was – when he died in Luton she had arranged a Christian burial. His disgraceful behaviour throughout his life meant the turn out was … Read more

Free the Nipple

Reading the ‘Daily Mail’ is a punishable offence but looking at the pictures is de rigueur. It is impossible to live in todays world without the ‘Mails’ forensic journalism that focusses on mass shootings, spoilers for soaps, the phoney marriages of blind daters not to mention the turgid trailers for naked tv. I’m not a … Read more

Fighting might with shite

Boys should not be allowed guns, ever. Especially boys who despise democracy – they should not be allowed anywhere near weapons. Boys, with just enough testosterone to allow them to grow hair near their wobbly bits, should then be steered away from guns, bombs and tanks, forever. Boys who invent guns and napalm, swords, sticks … Read more

A hat trick of goodbyes

First Paul, then Barry, then Len – I met them all, but only in a nominal sense. Back in the 80’s I worked at LWT standing proudly on the river – that’s LWT not me – next door to Gabriels wharf where I bought bespoke ceramics and a big wooden lion who stood in my … Read more

It ain’t over till its over

There are clumps of daffodils and tulips dotted around the garden. I’ve planted two different peonies, all shiny burgundy leaves in terracotta crocks and there are three pots of poppies on the garden table waiting to be planted up. There are puddles in the lawn and the big, pink bathtub, that was gifted to us, … Read more