Oldie Times

I was so excited yesterday, not so much because I was 60 but because it was my birthday.
I have to admit that the day before, on the 23rd, the realisation that I was turning old hit me like a demolition ball.
I don’t know what it means to be sixty only that it felt like it had to be honoured.

Read more

Wild Garlic on mothers day

Today I walked the orchard.
Through the apple and pear trees.
Over the style and I swear I could feel Jackson. I sat on the wooden cross bar and hung my head. The tears behind my eyelids were ready to burst like the buds.
Down the hill, round the stream, and there was the wild garlic I had gone looking for.
Tender green leaves, my fingers still smell from picking a handful by the waters edge. I am about to eat them in a salad.
Back to the cottage and I mowed the lawn. Every daisy went the way of the rest of the cuttings. The lawn looked neat and shapely.

Read more

thursday I think

23.29. Alan Carr is on the television. I have eaten a bowl of greens and recovered from MONKEY at the Young Vic. Jim and I have jigsawed our days so that cars have gone into the garage, articles written and Vat paid. I am about to try and finish Lucy Beresfords book. SOMEONE I’M NOT. … Read more

Another way home

From the Houses of Commons to MI6. From Towpath Walk to Battersea Dogs Home. From Battersea Park Road to The Living Room. I left at 4.30, it’s now 18.55. I am so tired I could eat a mattress. I am over emotional and need my armchair. I shall watch Sean Bean being mean, do some … Read more

a box from marmite

off to walk. Marmites box arrived and all the cards are piling up. Thank you all for your good wishes. The sun is shining, I have managed to meditate and I’ve got a face pack on so it’s hard to move my mouth. Good some would say……


I have been practicing I WILL SURVIVE.
I’ve re-written the words so that when I stand up on MARCH 26th in CROYDON to celebrate being sixty and old I will be slick and well oiled.
I am having to write some jokes for the evening.
I am having to write some treatments for the radio.
I am having to get my chapters ready for my book.
I am having to read more books than Mad Mick for LBC.
And I have been recovering from the absence of the old git for three weeks. You would think, wouldn’t you that after thirty three years of marital blitz I could get along very well without him.
Well I can but I do not like it so let that be the end of it.
I did FUNNY WOMEN on Sunday night. I was taught a magic act by FAY PRESTO.
I don’t remember it but it went down well. I may do some of it in Croydon. I have been told somebody wants to book me in May to do it again. I kid you not. Magic now already!

Read more

Extremes means Heinz

You walk some you ride some. You bus some you tube some. You train some you run some. This morning I walked some then treated myself to a Number 24 bus. I was forty-five minutes late. There are more traffic lights aorund Parliament square than there are politicians. I took the train home and walked … Read more