Jeni Barnett

The cold air is winding its way around my calves.
I’ve put the washing on, Jim’s jacket smells of bonfires and has grass stains all over it.
I found one sock still stuck in my boot. How annoying is that?
I watched so many films over the weekend I don’t know whether I am in Berlin or 1978.
I went to see ‘Avenue Q’ tonight – its sweet. American voices, puppets and smoochy transatlantic music. The girl next to me spread over two seats and her crutch got in the way. It was a grey, metal standard NHS one.
I had a cup of soup with the agent and after the theatre set off to the end of end of term party in a a big bar.
The noise.
The small black dresses.
The booze.
The youth.
I came, I went, I squandered…. too much of my time.
It’s 23.54 and I need to get into bed before I completely freeze, the wind has now whipped up to my thighs.

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I walked to Knightsbridge.
Very fast. My orange and black scarf tied tightly and all I needed in the pocket of my feau fur jacket.
I walked over Battersea Bridge, the sharp morning light clear and silver, down Beaufort Street past the strange little Catholic Church. Left onto the Kings Road, past the Bluebird Caff, Heales, Habitat, endless silly dress shops when a number 19 drove past me but I resisted.
Right down past Peter Jones and left down Sloane Street. Gucci, Chanel, Armani, ridiculous prices for boots, shoes and real fur coats. Another 19 came along to taunt me.
My nose was cold but the rest of me was toasty warm.
By the time I got to Knightsbride I was thinking I might be late for my own imposed deadline – as it turned out all was well.
Down onto the tube and I arrived in Leicester Square bang on. The whole trip had taken just under an hour. Three routes in three days. I’ll do another one tomorrow.

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I watched the video today of me on the first ever broadcast from Leicester Square.
I’m not being funny but when I saw it I nearly threw in the towel. Now that I have a face for radio I think I had better keep it that way.
If I had known they were bringing in the cameras I would have worn a bra, combed my hair, tightened my chin and trowled a bit of slap on.
Still, it’s there in all its raw glory. Do watch it if only to howl in horror at what appears before you.

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Dear Hymie, Marmite and all the rest of you well wishers, I took your good will with me to Leicester Square.
The 170 bus arrived late so I started off the day with a freezing cold nose.
The tube to Oxford Circus was comfortably full, and the walk from there to Leicester Square was bracing.
Imran and Harry, on the reception are delightful.
I was taken to level 3, plonked in front of a computer, spilt some water over my newspapers and ate a ton of fruit that had been sent in as a christmas gift…

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Eddie Izzard started his show with very loud music and lights trained on to the audience. It was very exciting. He started at 8.15, took a small break, then continued until 10.45, or maybe even later.
I cant remember one thing he said but he was rivetting. There was some very funny stuff about giraffes and cows stomachs.
He is very:
Charismatic.
Quick witted
A male.
He may occasionally wear a dress but he thinks like a feller, and I should know I live with one.

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