The First day of Spring (doing!)

Ain’t it always the way? The more successful a person is, the easier they are to talk to, be with, listen to and appreciate. And so it was with Anton Mossiman. For the last five years we have always had our Christmas lunches in his restaurant. His bread and butter pudding is legendary – I always have at least five portions. I snap them up while the suits are discussing budgets.

I have found out from my notes that his place is a club – an eating club. If you have £500 and come with a recommendation, you can eat there and be wined and dined in style.

And Mr. Mossiman certainly has that. He has style and discipline:

  • He runs every morning for thirty minutes.
  • He has a bow tie for every day of the year.

Today he wore a shiny multicoloured affair that matched his shiny mono-coloured head. He has just celebrated his 60th birthday – 300 guests including heads of state ate with (and for) him. When I’m 60, which will be in 18 months time, I’ll be lucky to have 30 people visit me, of which not one will be a head of state.

Mr. Mossiman is very, very, clean with a relaxed manner, though don’t be fooled – he’s in there at the coal face and ready for anything. He leads my example. Pristine, Swiss, gentle and firm.

He cured a salmon – no it wasn’t ill – by marinading it over night in a simple combination of luscious lemons and botanicals. Then he sprinkled crabmeat, green herbs, and a few more essential elements on it before Lesley Waters, Wayne Collins and I attacked it. It was lovely.

Any food left over goes to the crew. The joke is that they all have forks in their back pockets. The food is always second to none on the show and if I haven’t scoffed it, they do. Smoked salmon is Sooooooooooooooo me that there were only a few slivers left for anybody.

We have four cameras, but a rolling gang of operators: Cutesy, Dan the Man, Biggy Small, Gaylord Hauser, Sherry Sherry, Biggin Hill, Pat, Nick, and of course Saff who has just moved to Tunbridge Wells. We used to have five cameras, one hand held that we called RON so that we could get Ron to run. But over the five years we have been bled dry.

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Las Phallus

Andrew Nutter trains it down from Rochdale and he never once complains, about the journey, about the weather. He just turns up with another one of his daft shirts and gets on with being utterly Nutterly. The show today honoured Las Fallas. Now if you are Spanish, you say Las Fayas, but if you’re me, … Read more

Three weeks left

Today we announced that the show had three weeks left. I was surprised at my reaction. I thought I would get really tearful but actually it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I kept examining my feelings when I said it and my body didn’t fall apart. Dave Baker, our producer, had … Read more

Beware the Ides of March

Caesar was stabbed in the back in 44BC, but I had a stab at my Caesar salad earlier today at the hairdressers. The woman who runs it has won every colouring award in the business and the clients are rich, very rich, or, like me (with bills paid for by their employer). I told everybody … Read more

Giving up smoking

Well, worra night! Well, worra day, actually! National No Smoking Day in good old Blighty. Nobody on the show had ever smoked so it fell to me – ex-addict – to reveal the truth giving up the weed. My daughter, now 20, was about four. I had had a fairy dress made for her by … Read more

The Dragons’ Den

The sun is beating down outside, the sky is clear and I’m in here. I have been poorly for a couple of days. Eating on the show has been really hard. The food was good but my stomach wasn’t. I woke up this morning with my eyes glued together but good old Doctor Footlights and … Read more

CO2

The end of another week. The time is going so swiftly. The boxes are being delivered to my dressing in preparation for packing up 5 years worth of clothes,120 pairs of shoes, endless old scripts, bottles of vitamins, loads of lipsticks and boxes of jewellery. My lovely dresser Angelina will be on tap to fold … Read more

Make-up

How will I cope without make-up? Everyday, except for Sundays and holidays, I sit in the make-up chair and get done. Eyes closed, rollers in, head back, my makeup is applied. I do my own mascara and lipstick but the rest is put on by an expert with powder and puffs, brushes and sponges. When … Read more

Pink Lipstick

What an extraordinary day. Frantic in the studio. Too much to do in too little time. We rehearse from 10.00 until 12.00. I take a break in the make-up chair then it’s out into the void. We had the lovely Richard Phillips on making a carbo-friendly chicken soup ideal for marathon runners. We also had … Read more

Needles in nightingale

I’ve had needles in my knees, to stop me feeling jealous and envious. Afraid that I’ll never work again, I’ve had needles bunged in my head to stop me being so negative. I’ve had needles in my brows to open my eyes to stop me looking Neanderthal and a needle under my right breast for … Read more