Happy Christmas.

The turkey, goose, ham, bacon and sausage meat is packed into Jim’s shed and the fridge.
The presents are wrapped under the tree.
I am slowly working my way through all the Bafta films, ready for the first round of voting. I sit three inches from the television and work my viewing with all the other Christmas chores.
The mince pies, stollen, and biscuits are on top of Aunty Amy’s chest of drawers in the kitchen;
The little three drawer stack was given to Jim when she died. It’s where I keep all my homeopathic remedies.
The vegetables are in a big basket on the kitchen table, it looks like a Dutch still life. A basket of apples on one counter and a basket of orange clementines on the dresser.
There is an abundance of everything we are very lucky. This year I am acutely aware that we are very lucky to be able to eat in a warm house, and share our good food with friends and family.
I know no-one who hasn’t had a very testing year.
Christmas day is just us three – and whoever else drops in, not having my mother around is strange.
Then we have family and friends visiting in various combinations up to the 30th when I am working again.
Last year I did a lot for BBC LONDON. This year I have been relieved of my duties.
The floods, the economy, the Sandy Hook horror, the end of the world has taken it’s toll on all of us. I think Fear is catching and keeping cool hasn’t been easy. But we all seem to be managing.
My heart goes out to every struggling family, my thoughts are with the homeless, the injustice of the haves and have nots. I am grateful, really grateful for my good fortune.
I wish that for all of you. I wish you companionship, plenty of everything and more.
I’m still unsure of who and what I am at the moment, Dan the man said that the loss of a mother takes it’s toll. and yes it has only been around 16 weeks since she died.
Why this year I’m even thinking of going to midnight mass, only my car is coughing and the walk is a little too far in the dark. Who knows I may just brave the night after all.
Thank you all for your support. Even Frank who had a go at my interviewing technique.
Much love for your festive night, and beyond.

5 thoughts on “Happy Christmas.”

  1. Jeni
    Darling girl, that was such a heartfelt piece of writing, thank you.
    We all need to be grateful for all that we do have, food, warmth, friends and family. It’s easy to get caught up in “the other stuff”, the unimportant, and forget what we do have to be truely grateful for, so thank you for reminding us all.
    I wish you and all our lovely little gang a joyful season and every happiness in 2013.
    May peace, health and happiness be with us all.
    Much love to everyone

  2. Jeni thank you so much for that, you just hit the spot as usual! We are all so thankful for the blessings we have and the people we love. My old friend Kate died in early November, and this is the first time in 40-odd years that we didn’t have our get together for Christmas. Seems so odd – but we did have some really good times to remember!
    I’m sitting here looking at the beautiful bright moon – good feeling of peace, love and light.

  3. Thanks L.V., yeah I’m fine. Thank you. It’s weird with no one here. Christmas alone is very different from all the hectic, noisy, bustling, busy Christmases I’ve always known.
    No cooking today. No making gravy or peeling chestnuts. No making stuffing or roasting parsnips. But thats life. Different. Not better or worse. Just different.

  4. Hi Jeni
    You will not know me personally, but I was at the same secondary school as yourself in Borehamwood. I was sorry to hear of the death of your mother. Have a great New Year and everything that you wish for.

  5. I like your philosophy Rhianon. It’s empowered.
    Your strong enough not to drop the ball.
    Besides those chestnuts are not all there cracked up to be. A friend who is into the raw food thing, recently decided to try roasting her own chestnuts. Kitchen Wars ensued!
    She put a whole bunch of them onto the tray into the oven for a good roasting. Later followed by loud cracks and bangs. They were exploding and hitting the oven walls.
    So she quickly took them out to cool, but they continued splitting and exploding – showering the kitchen with chestnut shrapnel.
    I think she was supposed to cut into them first or something – tricky little suckers those chestnuts..
    love light

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