US here we come.

Dear All, here’s some of my American travels.
Shlepping around my lap top was a great idea in my head BUT the heat and the travelling meant I hardly unpacked it.
The journey out was an early start, 6.30 a.m. arriving in New Orleans in the dark. We had a taxi driver – we being Ollie and me – who talked Southern for us, he said he put the accent on for tourists.
I had already had the misfortune of shoegate so arrived in ur fancy hotel wearing slippers.
My old comfortable sandals had crumbled underfoot. The rubber had rotted, so I was flopping through the airport in First Class blue slippers that the first class travellers get along with their first class pyjamas. Ollie and I were in club class, one down. No pjs but champers on tap and stewards and stewardesses who bent over backwards to make sure we were comfortable. The poor crew were in cattle class.
Eight of us travelled together, picking up three runners in different locations. Two camera men, one sound man, a director a producer and a PA. Ollie and I made up the octet.
The thing about club class is the intimacy of strangers. You get the bed, the stretching out, you get the napkins and condiments, but there is only a thin plastic screen between you and the other travellers. The air hostesses pressed the button to let down the screen to hand over tea, coffee, lunch and breakfast but it fell to me to press the button to put the screen up again. I felt rude doing it.
I’d met up with Olly in the club lounge. My cardigan zip had beeped through security.
Fast tracked through, although the big security dame nearly pulled down my trousers as she searched me for anthrax, heroine and oversized bottles of feminine wash….

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I’m home.

Welcome all. I have been recovering from jet lag. I have been recovering from extremely long shooting days, 100 degree heat and more air flights than a migrating goose. So I’m back. My shoulders are as brown as a Peruvian plasterer and my head is filled with images. From ‘N’awlins’ and its French Quarter, to … Read more

One outrage a day…..

Dear Poppy, says our twillage has four banks. Sorry….. So today I drove to Brighton to have my hair primped and coloured before my trip to South Carolina. But not before I went to the hospital to see the physiO. One letter change and it would ready physiC…. Which I sort of was . I … Read more

Marilyn’s in the house.

The highest point in our twillage is 242 metres above sea level. This summit is the highest point of the High Weald and second highest point in East Sussex. Its relative height is 159 metres, meaning my adopted second home qualifies as one of England’s Marilyns. A Marilyn is a mountain or hill in the … Read more

Don’t Pranic Mr. Mainwaring

When I went to the hospital to have my elbow checked, I entered zone 2 shivering with indignation. The X-ray machine had broken and a twenty minute wait lasted nearly three hours. I was given a 50p deduction on parking since I had been waiting for so long. Still, having to pay anything at all … Read more

May 7th 2015

Two weeks ago the world was an altogether different place. Quotes will be quoted, embarrassments will be played and replayed. Humiliations will be written about and gloated over. Tectonic plates, will be forever moving in Scotland and hats will be forever eaten in Asdhdown’s forest. We’re all worn ragged by it. I’ve argued with my … Read more

The all Clear

Broke the elbow on February 22nd. Today I was given the all clear. But not after waiting for two and a half hours in the aircraft hanger that is called our hospital. One of the X-Ray machines had gone down. By the time I got into Zone 2 and booth five I was ready to … Read more

Slinging along

I wore my sling on the train. I took my sling off when I got to Dean Street. I sat cradling my arm as I sucked through a straw on a big juicy juice. I didn’t kiss my host, he had the bug. I hugged his son who was 17 and facing a future that … Read more

Parisian Plaster.

22 days ago I went head over teakettle.
The morning had gone spankingly well. I had meditated the sun was sining on the white, white, frost and I got dressed early to go for a solo walk .
Down the hill, round the bend. The grass crisp and hard beneath my trainers. Down the avenue a quick tree kiss and then I reversed. Round through the farm, the fields laid out frostily before me. The white met the green met the brown met the sharp blue sky. I walked through my field, and decided that instead of going through the kissing gate, in case the little slope was too slippery, I would slide through the two gate posts.
One right foot down, up went my heel, down went my hand and the jolt to my my body was so sharp that I sat like a rag doll, wondering how life could turn on a sixpence.
I could feel my arm swelling as I walked down the hill, through the rocks and back through the avenue. There wasn’t so much pain as discomfort.
I woke the old git. Who slid out of bed and tried to help me move the arm.
Into the car and to the local Cottage Hospital. I had called to make sure they were awake.
Ther man on reception told me they were open until 8.00 that night.
Five minutes later I was sitting in the waiting room.
There was me, the ‘oosbind, a little boy and his mother and two nurses. One I knew, one I didn’t.
I was put into a cubicle, Ally asked me questions, then looked at me, threw several faces of concern and empathy and said she was sure it was just soft tissue damage. That’s what they call a sprain now. She picked up the telephone and called Uckfield cottage Hospital.
The Xray opened at 12.00. That was when the appointment had been made for.
After breakfast, my arm hanging painfully, we set off. Twenty minutes later we were sitting in the Uckfield waiting room. Three nurses, Radio 2 and the offer of tea. I declined.

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TD

It started out as a bit of a catch up, but by 4.35 this morning all eight episodes of True Detective had been watched, stored, logged and discussed. I went to bed with images of Matthew McCooouhannhunhgy and Woooolie Harrolscombe running around in my mind. The fire burst into flame, flickered and died, was rebuilt … Read more