Hot Stuff.

I stood with my back to a cool wall waiting for the Angel of Mercy.
First the battery light came on.
Then the dial on the heating went into the red – dangerously.
Then the steering wheel wouldn’t work.
Then the old git, scratching his head said get onto the pavement. Without power steering getting onto the pavement was like me getting off a bean bag – exactly.
Finally I got it up. Put on the parking lights and the elderly gentleman, who I’ve slept with for nigh on 41 years, called the AA.
They estimated an hour, but in the event Ben turned up within fifteen minutes.
‘It’s the belt, it’s come off.’ he said, as well as a great deal more, but trying to remember mechanical talk is like asking for breakfast in Japanese. You may learn it by rote but God Fobid they then want a conversation with you.
BTW this is what ‘A full English please’ looks like in Japanese.
Anyway Ben took twenty minutes pulling out metal thingies, and strapping on towing whatnots, guided my little silver car onto the pick up truck, we climbed into the front seat and we set off to a designated garage near High Brooms station.
Colin, the gaffer, is from Stockport. An army man who doesn’t mince his words. He called over a delightful Spanish boy who took out his phone, shone a light into the engine and said it was the water pump.
Forgive our Mancunian because Colin said.
‘That boy’s got the eyes of a sh-t-house rat.’
We got the call today to say the AA have had so many calls, because of the heat, that it will take 48 hours before we get my little German Fraulein back.
So now the ‘oosbind is ferrying me round to the dentist, the hairdresser, the charity shop, the stationary emporium, and the local coffee shop.
We went to Deer Park, and sat in the sun whilst rehearsing our lines for two more ikkle films about the NHS.
If you get a chance please watch HEALTH SHOTS PRODUCTIONS, on You Tube. Me and the acting spouse have made 6 tiny films that will make your hair stand on end.
The truth about the NHS. PLEASE SHARE THEM.
It’s now 20.21. Can’t be bothered with the football. So I shall lie on my back, hold onto my big toes, stick my legs in the air, straighten ’em up then try to get off the floor like a German car whose power steering has gone.
Auf Wiedersehen.

3 thoughts on “Hot Stuff.”

  1. /NHS …. general public need to stop abusing this fabulous system . E.G. … stop sponging off the NHS for your kids nit lotions/capol/cradlecap lotions.
    Stop wasting GP’s time asking for antibiotics for a virus . Stop wasting ED time presenting yourselves with home remedies cures . IT ALL COSTS VALUBLE RESOURSES.

  2. Thankyou so much for writing Mrs Jeni Barnett……… but sorry to hear about the new car!
    Did they manage to fix it for you?!
    The girl needs her wheels!
    Big love, the Borowski’s

  3. Just watched your NHS clips on utube! Hilarious! I was in fit’s! Jeni, u look amazing! So nice to see u doing so well together with the old git! Sad about your car though, I hope all works out OK in the end!
    Lots of love

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