Ochre James Bond style.

A handful of ochre.
Slice em after topping and tailing them.
Yes I know it can be slimy but who cares?
Heat up your little frying up, heat it till its hot, nothing in it, just a naked flame under a naked pan.
Pour in some olive oil and immediately chuck in turmeric, cayenne pepper, grated fresh garlic and ginger – as much as you can bare.
Turmeric for disinfectant and cayenne for metabolism. Ginger for heat and garlic to keep the boys off.
Stir. When the smell hits your throat
Throw in the sliced ochre.
Now pour in some water from the kettle and Shake don’t Stir.
Cook high till the water is absorbed.
Add more water.
Keep the heat up.
Shake and Stir.
Open the kitchen door so that the cayenne pepper fumes don’t choke you, and you’ve stopped cursing the fact that YOU chose to have a new kitchen without a filter hood thingy.
When you fancy its done its done.
Suck on a sweet tomato if you have put in too much cayenne.
A big bowl of salad, with munchy mouse melons, and convivial conversation with the dawter is a rather nice accompaniment.