Assaulted Batteries

This morning I made scrambled eggs, the Bill Grainger way, with loads of butter and cream. Hot bagels, smoked salmon and the freshest coffee you’ve ever tasted.
1 baby,1 mother, 1 father, 1 grandpa and 1 wicked step mother sat down and devoured the lot, in less than an hour.
We exchanged the last of our Christmas gifts and I set off for London for the forseeable future.
My car wouldn’t start.
Jonfan from next door jump started me, I cried, kissed Jim and off I went.

An easy journey, alhough I had at the back of my mind the notion that were I to stop and stall the car would never start again.
I nipped into ‘Halfords’, and with a very expensive machine Stewart ascertained that my battery was buggered.
I bought a new battery, which will get fixed tomorrow, and a jump start kit that has to be charged itself.
The car got me to the flat.
I unloaded.
The car wouldn’t start again.
Believe it or not I read the small print and the car choked into life.
Got to LBC, did a programme about de-toxing and raw food. crossed my fingers and turned on the igntion, to my surprise the car started first time.
What a relief.
Got back to the flat, my ‘roomieis’ having left behind the smell of roast dinner and a great deal of youthful trinkets!
I used my zapper to open the garage doors.
I had to negotiate with the Thai restaurant for one of their customer bays.
It’s nows 18.30 hundred hours. I’m hungry, the fridge is full of youthful turnips AND my room is full of boxes, duvets and the battery charging machine which is itself charging.
The washing machine broke, until the two young things come back from replacing my cafetier they broke, I don’t know whether it is safe to wash my bigs.
I would like to scream but the youfful couple will be back soon and I need to be cool, calm so I can collect their rent!
THANKS TO YOU ALL for your well wishes.
I will do my best tomorrow, given that I can get my car started and out of the little Thai corner it’s in, failing that I shall hitch a ride to Latimer Road and radio land.
talk soon.

6 thoughts on “Assaulted Batteries”

  1. Hello Jeni,
    I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world for the start of your new ‘gig’ tomorrow on LBC. I used to catch you on the TV from time to time,have listened to all of your weekend shows and I can’t TELL you how excited I am that they have given you the afternoon slot. I love all that you do Jeni and totally ‘get’ your wicked sense of humour. You rock!!! I know you are going to be nervous but please rest assured that you have a loyal following and that we are all wishing you well.
    God bless !

  2. Spent a bit of Sunday evening catching up with your recent blog entries so wasn’t surprised when an Anglian Home Improvements advert came on with your voiceover!

  3. Congratulations Jeni!!
    I’m so pleased for you.
    I need to implore LBC to go digital now, so I may listen in too. We have that Nasty Websense installed at work that blocks out Radio and Rainbow!!! (I was trying to explain George, Zippy and Bungle to my Australian colleague).
    Nevertheless I am keeping all my fingers crossed for you at this minute, I’m sure you’re doing just fine. xx

  4. Jeni
    Happy New Year! I have just been listening to you on your new programme on LBC. I am so pleased for you. I knew you could do it! It has been a pleasure listening to you from getting your radio “feet” in the early days
    to now being a polished radio presenter! I shall miss your Sunday foodie show but I’m sure you will still have food items from time to time. Perhaps now the TV hierachy will realise that you should be back on TV too.
    All the best, Prestwich Sue

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