Midnight and beyond

It’s just gone Jools Holland. I fell asleep in the chair, having driven more miles today than a rally driver in Monaco. Jim is in the flat, BB is in the attic, and I am on my last legs.

Don’t worry about me, you who are concerned that I will never touch real food again. I still love my nosh it’s just that I don’t want to be putting pounds of it in my mouth all in one go. Once the detox has settled down I dare say I will be eating half a pig again for breakfast.

Today I visited Gino De Campo’s deli in Borehamwood. He wasn’t there but his henchman Heath was. He very nearly didn’t let me talk to the diminutive Italian thinking I was a rabid stalker. In the event Mrs De Campo materialised and all was friendly over a cup of cappuccino and a Danish. Gino is well and when he gets back from whatever mad shoot he is on, we will meet for dinner and swap stories.

Yesterday I had a lovely meeting in Soho with a producer called Ri. We liked each other. She remembered me fooling around on LWT when she came home from school.
The number of women who used to breastfeed their children to my slot on breakfast TV is astounding. However, Friday was a good day.

Lunch with Rib and Ri – sounds like a comedy duo – right in the centre of Media Land. A tuna salad next to Cameron’s ‘Flatwhite’ coffee bar in Berwick Street. We met Cam when he came onto the show. He is from New Zealand and is a real life barista with a knack of being able to make a chocolate palm tree on the top of a frothy coffee with one hand whilst he’s juggling the books with the other.

I then had tea in Patisseri Valeries in Old Compton Street with my old friend Linda., after which we went off to a hairdressers in Dean Street where she had a trim. It was bang smack in the centre of a gay area and the magazine on the settee I was sitting on, bore witness to the fact. When I got to the centre pages, the photos of friendly males were explicit. I couldn’t put it down. Not because it was scintillating, but because I didn’t want to appear naive, which I am. I wanted to look cool, which I wasn’t, give the impression that l read that kind of literature everyday of my life, which i don’t’.

Let me tell you some of the appendages on those men folk were more terrifying than meeting a saber tooth tiger in the dark on the banks of the Orinoko River in the depths of night in the middle of the rainy season. I think I have made my point, as indeed, did they.

After the barbers we went to hear Michael Chabon talk in ‘Foyles’ on Charing Cross Road. He writes back to back with his wife every day of his life. He likes to do at least a thousand words a day. He has four children. After he has packed them off to school, he and his wife go into the writing room. They clatter away on their respective keyboards until lunch time then they take a short break, then clatter away again until it’s time to pick the kids up from school. He is a Pulizter Prize winning author, a screen writer, a family man and good-looking to boot, as well as being a very entertaining speaker. I went out and bought his new book today just because he so impressed me with his few chosen words.

He loves comic books and has the dubious honour of appearing on the Simpsons as himself. He was paid for the screen play of his latest book before he had even written it. That’s how much they trust him. If I weren’t so tired, I would tell you who ‘they’ are but right now I can’t remember who I am, let alone a pile of American producers in Hollywood.

Then Linda and I went to the Ecological Awards, sponsored by The Observer and Ecover, pronounced EEEE by gum go COVER the budgie’s cage it’s late. It was full of screechin’ journos and well dressed media molls.

Lucy Seigle presented the awards and the young lad who fronts ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’, Simon Amstrell made bad taste jokes that were very funny. I lunged for the canapes but only managed three bites of broccoli tempura and three glasses of fruit punch. I left by 9.45, took the Number 19 bus to the flat and awaited the arrival of Jim. We set off home for Sussex, arriving at 12.45. The dog was delighted to see us, the cat was delirious at our arrival and the daughter was in the studio penning a new track.

Finally, at 3.00am, we went to bed.

When I got up at 8.00 this morning, I decided to go to visit my mother which is where we came in. Now it’s 12.45 which is the time I arrived home last night. I have got to break the habit!

I have meditated, exercised and drunk nearly half my body weight in water but now my eyelids are so heavy and I am in danger of falling asleep over the key- boazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7 thoughts on “Midnight and beyond”

  1. Haha. I can imagine you in Soho reading one of ‘those’ magazines. You’re supposed to skip the middle section.
    Watch out; you’ll be featured on the front cover of BOYZ before long!!!!

  2. Oh Jen you make me laugh, the magazines with the guys bit, that happened to me in NYC we were walking through Greenwich Village and those mags were in the shop windows, along with some very interesting glass “apendages” Can’t send me some of your willpower can you?….i’m rubbish at this dieting thing! Love you loads Marmite Girl xx

  3. Thanks,Jeni. I am relieved to hear that you will be enjoying real food again soon and can understand that you don’t want to undo the good work of the past few weeks by going overboard. I am going down your way – East Sussex,to Eastbourne – next week for the tennis but I don’t suppose I will see you there as I don’t remember you ever saying you liked tennis during your 5+ years on GFL. Anyway, good to hear that you are making as many contacts as you can at the moment re. a job offer. It’s crazy – the TV companies should be fighting each for you!

  4. Hi Jeni,
    Sounds like you are getting better.
    Just think, if you had stayed with GFL you would not ever get to know how much we lot love ya.
    There is no chance that you will be let on the shelf so just enjoy this little break to recharge the batteries.
    You have a great life with a small, soon to be filled, gap.
    The sun is hot and bright here in Carcassonne and I am sending warm wishes for positive things in your near future.

  5. Hi Jen,
    I never find those mags lying about! haha, but then we are in deepest somerset, what can I expect.
    Have just had one of those online surveys come through..all about celebrities. In the first section, I had to tick a box next to a picture of all those I recognised…and guess what… your face popped up.
    So did my bit and ticked the appropriate box. A bit of a long survey I thought, but in section two, you popped up again, with a list of positive and negative comments. “would I please check the boxes next to the comments I agreed with”
    I then ticked to the correct boxes…the good one of course and pressed the send button.
    So stand by the phone, all those tv companies should be onto you like a shot.
    Dave and Andy

  6. Can we not get you back on our screens, Jeni,
    I cannot even bear to watch the revolting MK or its’ presenters,who have no charisma whatsoever.

  7. Good evening Jeni,
    Good to hear you’re still hard at it!!! Sorry it was the thought of the apendages!
    Holidays ahead for the therapist – the Wirral here we come! WOW- I wish – not that it’s not a lovely place but I can think of better places to be. My partner is a posh scouser himself so its a trip home for him and time to attend the ……… (wait for it) The world canal conference – da da da daaaaaa! yawn yawn. Myself? I’m going to chill, chill and more chill – or at least I’ll try- not easy when one is used to being so busy – I’ll give it a really good go though, best bit will be visiting my best buddy in Cheshire for plenty of good food, cheap(ish) plonk but most importantly excellent company. So see you in few days.
    Jill -x-

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