Jeni Barnett

When Tristram Stuart was born the angels must have known he was destined for great things.
He is an inspiration. A maverick. A darn nice dude. A scavenger, activist, Cambridge Graduate, long-haired protester and a FREEGAN.
So what is a Freegan?
It’s a Tristram Stuart type bloke who takes waste food from the supermarkets and proves that there is life after a sell by date. He does not encourage everyone to eat out of a skip but he asks us all to be aware that millions and millions of human beings on this Planet are malnourished. We can all help by not being so greedy. WASTE NOT WANT NOT. If the health and safety merchants took the thumb screws off retailers so that food, which is perfectly edible, gets distributed to the needy rather than being thrown away, binned, dumped, elbowed WASTED we would all be better off. The thought of so much waste gives me a belly ache, what Tristam does is write about it. Waste: Uncovering the Global Food Scandal is an important read, a book for you, your children and grandchildren so that we can really start to make a dent into food porn.
I was delighted to see that he lives about ten minutes away from the cottage in The Ashdown Forest. I cannot wait to meet him, hug him and sign up as a card carrying member of the no waste brigade. His quote was as simple as this:
BUY WHAT YOU NEED AND EAT WHAT YOU BUY.
as simple as that.

Read more

Please forgive me for a moment I just have to change out of these clothes I’ve been strapped into all day; a pair of black leggings with pink flowers over a pair of shiny tight M&S keep you thinner pants, a fancy schmancy bra with gawd knows how many sparkley bits and bows on and a long- vest-type-t-shirt-come-see-through-tunic-number that makes me look taller, thinner and not a little like a Greek Matriarch. I’ll put my hair up in a band and be right back with you….
That’s better I can breathe now.
I’m wearing one black sarong, its got red and gold trimmings. With one quick pull to both sides I put my thumbs between the material chin the excess cloth on my chest and then make a deft bow. My hair is up in a hairdressers silver clip now so I am utterly unemcumbered.
I am cool, I am calm and hopefully the Electricity Board have collected my payment, the automated woman couldn’t understand my answers it may have had something to do with my tone – I was screaming at her – well why not she’s a sodding robot for Gods sake.

Read more

Dear Fee, I knew it was James Stewart in ‘Rear Window’, I can see his face and hear his voice. But I got caught up in something in the kitchen and Peckory Greg got top billing.
Watching footage of Fern Britton leave ‘Good Morning’, hearing about Jo Whiley being superceded by Fearne Cotton, reading about Arlene Phillips being sidelined for Alesha Dixon, made my heart hamnmer in my chest. However you cut it ageism is so rife now that people are getting used to it and treating people like moi with the disrespect we don’t deserve
One of my managers at LBC said that Jo, at 44, was too old to be presenting a show for young people.
I am appalled at the insensitivity and crassness that surrounds me.
What the friggin’ hell is too old?
To old for what?
Too old to speak or listen?
Too old to sit on a settee and talk to somebody?
Too old to captivate an audience?
Is Dame Judi dench too old to act? Is Nelson Mandela too old to inspire? Is the Pope to old to preach?
All audiences are now being told that TOO OLD starts mid forties! And what kind of personnel manager is making the decision that women are past their sell by date if they were born in the 60’s?

Read more

First things first, lets not go down the route of bullying each other again. Scientists have a place, natural practitioners have a place, parents have a say in what they do with their children. I have a say in what I want – or dont want – put into my body. As a democratic Nation we should all be allowed to think what we want to think, say what we want to say, and live as we wish to live without offending anybody else. So no more nasty sniping please.
The swine flu outbreak is the next big thing health wise. Should I be vaccinated? It’s a knotty question, the scaremongering has certainly frightened me, as I am sure it has done to many others. We need a reasoned, honest approach to this so called pandemic.
I do not want to be duped into giving yet more money to the drugs companies.
I do not want to be filled full of flu unless I really know that it is safe .
I am concerned and I will be doing it on the programme.

Read more

I walked in really fast this morning.
I stopped off in a chemist in Victoria and bought really expensive blister plasters. Buy cheap buy twice. I bought a packet of three from Asda and they were about as effective as slapping a kipper on my soul.
The chemist assistant and I had a bit of a banter about the high pollen count. Me blowing my nose to prove that I really was pollenated.
Then through St. James Park – why are the Japanese so obsessed by the squirrels – I want to yell they’re rats by any other name, but then it was into the National Portrait Gallery for breakfast.
If you sit at the third table in you can look up at the blue sky through the glass roof. The Nepalese waitress swore she knew me but then she said that all us caucasions look the same to her. I had yoghurt and granola and a calming tea which was sorely needed after yesterday.

Read more

I bought new blister plasters from a chemist in Soho.
Got to LBC Towers ripped off the old elastic bandaids and replaced them with my newly minted cushioned one.
Oh the joy of being flat-footed again.
Coming home on the tube I positively smiled as I shuffled along with the rest of the great unwashed. No more hobbling or limping for me.
After work I met up with Jayne an ex make-up artist of mine. She has aubergine hair, white skin and the most exquisite wolf-like blue eyes, she looks like a Japanese/Caucasion Geisha, it’s lovely sitting oppostie her.
We talked about her love life, it was not easy.

Read more