Jeni Barnett

Jupiter’s in retrograde, encouraging us all to be introspective and thoughtful, are you listening Rishi? Not content with saying and doing nothing the idiot that calls himself Prime Minister has now trashed Net Zero. We’re in the Hebrew year of 5784, which according to Jewish soothsayers is a year of open doors. Are you listening … Read more

On August 23rd the old git was 80. It was a long time coming. One minute he was 34 with all his teeth, a mop of curly hair, a motorbike, acting jobs coming out of his ears, and a fancy car that you had to slip into. And then kaboosh it’s a second hand Golf, … Read more

1981: I was working on a sit-com at ATV studios in Elstree. I was cast as the sexy secretary although my agent had sent me up for the role of the mother of two. I was 33 and even though I say it myself, was good looking in an exotic kinda way and fearless. Not … Read more

I’ve lived where I live for nearly forty years. I have no desire to keep moving on, up or out. My cottage is small – so small I couldn’t hang a Hockney if I tried, although we do have pictures and photographs and all sorts of bollox on the walls. We have a view from … Read more

There is absolutely no defence in awarding North Sea Oil new licences. There is no defence even if you are a simpering little Sunak who thinks he knows best. The world is on fire and Rodent Rishi believes that handing out money for oil and gas is the right way to go. The world is … Read more

To get to Forest Row – a Rudolph Steiner village where the organic veg grows on trees and the village hall hosts yoga, qi gong classes and theatrical performances, you have to drive down New Road then bare left over a cattle grid. The Duddleswell Tea Rooms have their chairs still stacked, waiting for summer … Read more

We drove the dawter to London. Today we received a fine for driving down her road. £65. I went shopping locally. I received a fine for £35. I contested it and got a very long letter telling me I was wasting my time. I told the old git to contest the £65 but he declined. … Read more

There comes a time in every old crone’s life when they have to sit down, take stock, brush themselves off and start all over again. So with that in mind this septuagenarian with a healthy ego made a decision. The old git drove me to Tunbridge Wells station. I sat in the front coach of … Read more

I watched Elton John from the comfort of my living room. His birthday is a day after mine. We Aries always have trouble with our feet, and there was Reggie Dwight stumbling around the stage wearing safe shoes. He said his golden trousers were falling down but that didn’t stop the man from Pinner giving … Read more

I’ve just come home from a night in Penge. 14 of us sat upstairs, being an audience, in the THE BRIDGE pub. Down the road from Anerley three women acted beautifully in a play about loss and age. Three women in a room the size of my sitting room, reduced me to tears. It’s been … Read more