Norf & Sarf

by

In the middle of brushing my teeth the telephone rang. 7.40a.m. and my personal trainer had arrived early. Dripping with blue toothpaste I let her in, finished my ablutions then set about learning how to use a dumbell. I’ll end up looking Madonna if i’m not careful.
Nina left at 9.00 I changed into real clothes and set about my day.


I walked in the cool sun to the Kings Road to my favourite shop WILDE ONES to buy sage smudge for the cottage. It’s a bundle of leaves picked from a sacred site which you burn to get rid of negativity. I want to clear the cottage of all the illness.
I bought two lavender candles, a box of lavender joss sticks and Melodious, the keeper of the shop, gave me a red feather as a present.
I had taken breakfast in Le Pain Quotidian, a wonderful pot of camomile tea with honey, before walking to Gloucester Road underground station. The old git had motor-biked up to town for a film interview and then turned his bike round to get home again. We talked just before I went down the tube and he donned his bikers togs. He’s looking after his youngest daughter brilliantly. He got back in time to make her her Ayurvedic lunch. She went swimming, her recovery is remarkable, and is writing a new song for somebody. So all is well in East Sussex.
Fiona Phillips was my guest today, she really is a delightfully real young woman. It was a joy to talk to her.
After the show I had my second session with Seka Nicolic, her rooms are in Finchley Road and since I was in Norf Lundun I decided to stay around to go and see Kate Dimbleby’s show at ‘The New End Theatre’.
Seka’s hands were really hot this time and I felt exhausted so I walked slowly into Hampstead. It’s like a ghost town, roads close , bollards everywhere, they are digging up the Victorian water pipes. My old stomping ground felt unloved and lonely. So quiet and empty. But I found a deliciously simple Southern Indian Vegetarian restaurant and treated myself to a Thali ( 7 dishes ) of the scrummiest fare this side of Goa.
The New End Theatre seats about 150. 60 of us scattered ourselves around the red velvet seats and waited for Kate to come on. A female MD, wearing a tiny piano in a hat played the accordian and the piano, a female drummer, wearing a tiny set of drums in her hat, played the drums, a tall feller on double bass and an anglo america guitarist strummed their way through the evening.
Imagine a full blooded white woman, public school educated, Oxford bound, with a love for the bawdy and the blues. Imagine four fun musicians, a play list of some dozen songs with engaging chat from the honest Dimbleby and that was the evening. She wore a black halter neck dress for thirty five minutes then changed into a pink and black creation with a can-can petticoat and very high shoes that she bought off e-bay for twelve quid. That was the kind of banter we had. The band played ‘The Sunny Side of the Street’ whilst our songtress did her quick change. It was an-hour-and-a-half of Kate charm. I don’t think Ms Dimbleby is the best singer in the world but she is so endearing, so genuine, so honest, that everybody comes out smiling. Please go and support her. She deserves to have an audience.
Norf Lundun, was my home, now I am so Sarf its not true. I left Hampstead took the tube to Camden Town, changed over the platform to get on the Charing Cross branch, decided to get out at Euston for the Victoria Line, jumped on the 170 and before you could say Sarf Ludun here I cum I was home. The river, the air, the space, the smell. I love my flat.
I do miss my home though so tomorrow instead of dong what I had planned to do I am jumping on the 4.15 and getting home as soon as possible.
I need to smell the ‘oosbind and see the girl. I need to tickle the cat and fold the washing. I need my garden and my soft bed.
I need to be home. So there we have today.
From dumbells to dumb belles. That’s me signing off.

8 thoughts on “Norf & Sarf”

  2. Hi Jeni
    You’re looking absolutely drop dead gorgeous! If you feel as well as you look-well!!
    If you have time take a stroll into Cremorne Gardens. Over Battersea Bridge, turn left pass the houseboats and stay on the riverside, just a little way along and you are there. Go through the wonderful original gates to the Cremore Gardens walk across the grass and there should be a sign pointing to the tree of heaven where there is something rather special in the tree which I think you will like.
    Love June

  3. Dear Jenni. Hello again from Darkest Putney Heath! i hope all is well with you and your dear family? as since your norf and Sarf blog 2nd Sept there appears to have been no activity on your site since that blog. I hope you havent been burning too much Sage Smudge down at the cottage else you will get a very bad head and risk burning the place down! lovely smell sage and a healthy herb too.
    I have just come back from Koln in Germany as i was invited to stay there for my birthday by Hannelorre and Anja and Jeurgen. gordon and i flew on 20th August from Stansted to Koln and then on 21st i had a wonderful day cumilating in a birthday dinner on the terrace at a lovely German restaurant in Troisdorf1 i had Salmon and Potato cakes and veg (gemuse) and it was wonderful and sitting there outside on this balmy night with many old german friends was lovely and the local brew helped too Ha Ha!after that we drove back to Lohmar-Inger where Hannis haus is and in the dark i espied 2 ladies in shorts and glamerous tops carrying trays of cake and red roses standing there in the road outside Hannis haus (Thats House in German) so i got out of the car and recognised them to be Vera and her daughter Jenni and Vera said have some Midnight Cake! so we all had some of the lovely cake and i wsas given a lovely bunch of long stem roses (Rosen)It was a lovely surpriseand we stood out in the road chatting eating and laughing till after 1 pm german time Ha Ha! The next day sunday we relaxed at hannis haus then in the evening went to Anja and Jeurgens home in Siegburg to have afternoon coffee and cakes on there patio at the back of there little 3 storey haus, so we sat outside and we had one of the biggest strawberry flans ive ever seen and some nice coffee then suddenly the weather changed it went black as soot and the wind got up to squall force and the ubrellas were lurching over and falling over so we had to shut them then the rain started so hard and blowing past you instead of down on you then it changed to hail the size of Golf Balls and my god it really hurt as we were bombarded with thousands of chunks of ice . so we went inside and watched from the lounge. later we walked along the bank of River sieg and we had an evening meal under the canopy outside the Sieglinde restaurant and watched the boats going along the river it was bliss eating big jacket Spuds with several lovely fillings and the Sieglinda Bier was good i had 4 glasses of the stuff. i had a great Birthday and 10 days in germany and on the 2nd Saturday we went to a candle fest in Troisdorf with 3500 candles on the grass in the local park there and various people in pantomime type dress and costume enacted stories none of which gordon or i could understand but it was fun , esspecially a man who was dressed as the joker and he sat on the roof of his little haus and he told tales to the crown while talking into the top of an Ikea Lamp Ha Ha!We laughed so much as it looked so funny then felt hungry so drove to sankt augustine and had a meal in the Mc Donalds drive in then back to Hannis haus. Now Jeni ive told you a bit about my hol! So lets be hearing again from our favorite Lady who rules the airwaves Jeni! Remember Your many fans like Me love to hear what you have been doing and we all think about you and have concerns about you and your family and we are all with you in spirit . i have to go down to brighton on sunday as on Monday its the funeral of my Cousin Nell at Woodvale Crematorium. Its a sad time but i will always remember her kindness and laughter she was 85 years old. ive managed to get a nice delux seaview room in a hotel in Kings rd on the seafront for 2 nights in Brighton and im looking forward to some fish and chips whilsd in brighton at the old seagull restaurant.
    Hope all is well with you Jeni and Jim and B. So enough about me ! i pray we will soon hear from you. Happy Jewish New Year to you! im sure all your fans would wish you that too. love Terry xxxx

  8. I was so sorry to hear you have left Jeni and wish you all the best for the future. I am always glued to the wireless with my dog Muttley!! So I hope to hear you back on there in the near future.
    Robert x

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