Having a ruck

If a person from la droite critiques a person a partir de la gauche the criticism tends to take the form of accusations of anger, envy, jealousy, bitterness and lily livered vegetarianism. If a person a partir de la gauche critiques a person from la droite the critism tends to be in the form of … Read more


Today I wore my leather biker’s coat bought from the charity shop. It cost a tenner and reveals the state of my weight – if I’m doing okay the zipper goes up and I can breathe, if I’m ‘overladen’ the zipper sticks and it looks like I’ve been poured into a wet-look latex bondage suit. … Read more

World Snow Day

We didn’t have snow, but it was cold out there, everybody wrapped up and walking in the sunshine. It got me thinking about families, and that there’s something to be said for absentee parenting. My mother was integral to my life; cooking, ironing, even writing an essay for me, that I snuck up my sleeve, … Read more

I’m pink therefore I’m Spam

Improbable behaviour + Imperfect leadership = Imminent Impeachment. As Nobby-No-Mates, stalks the corridors of diminished power, the lacklustre Buffoon attacks his allies with petulant jibes, his auto-cued speeches delivered through a pancaked mouth, his conversational tics lulling us into a false sense of reality. Like a wet newspaper, its’ pages flapping and slapping in a … Read more

What’s it all about?

He was the handsomest boy at school, he was also the cleverest. Studying in the school library our eyes met over my broken bag of ‘Treets’, ‘milk chocolate covered peanuts with an outer shell of dark brown glazed candy,’ The sweet nuts scattered and bounced ricocheting round the parquet floor like machine gun fire. We … Read more


This morning I walked. The road was wet and I had on a pink sweater, a green hoodie and a blue anorak. I put the green and blue hoods up and walked. Down the hill, across the road onto a path thick with slippery leaves. I walked up hill and then it levelled off. It … Read more