Jew- Ish

I am Jewish – whatever that means.
I do not go to synagogue, although I have been in my life.
I do not wear a wig for G-d.
I do not normally write God, ‘G-d.’
I am married to a Catholic.
I do not eat Kosher, although I always buy Kosher salt, it tastes better.
I tell good Jewish jokes.
I tell bad Jewish jokes.
I am a Jewish mother – to all the children everywhere.
I make far too much food always, so that should a tribe of Nomads rock up unexpectedly there will always be enough bagels, smoked salmon and cream cheese on the table.
I have a Mezuzah next to my door, but I never kiss it. I also have a Hamza hand hanging on the door, I also have an olive tree cross and an Om symbol, made in brass hanging on the wall facing the hippie stained-glass angel..
I laugh loudly and stock up on tin-cans in case of any more pogroms, although I do not panic buy for Christmas.
Which by the way I celebrate.
I burn candles at Hanukkah, say blessings at Passover and have a Jew Doo every autumn to bring in the Jewish New Year.
I like Barbara Streisand, Jackie Mason, Mel Brooks and Pink – JEWS
I like George Clooney, Leonardo Di Caprio, Bono and the latest Pope – CATHOLICS
I like Sammy Davis Junior, Lenny Kravitz and Jackie Wilson – BLACK JEWS.
I like Tom Hanks, Denzil Washington and Dwayne the Rock Johnson – BIBLE TOTING EVANGELICALS.
I like Mohammed Ali, Riz Ahmed, Shazia Mirza and Barak Obama – MUSLIMS
I like red lipstick, big hair and expensive perfume.
I do not like Sectarianism.
I do not like Benjamin Netanayahu.
I do not like president Trump
I do not like Steve Bannen
I do not like Tommy Robinson
I do not like Nigel Farage
I do not like Jew haters.
I do not like Jew Baters.
I dislike accusations that are untrue, I am weary of Jews who hate me because I hate sectarianism and The Settlers, and war crimes. I dislike people in the public eye using their weedy muscles to attack politicians who are demonised for opinions they dont have.
I am not a self hating Jew, I am not a rabid terrorist, I am not blind to political chicanery, I am a woman of age and discrimination and I hold the views that many other Jews of my generation hold, views that were born out of the Holocaust and Anti-Semitism.
Demonising Anthony Wedgewood Benn, Dennis Skinner, Stormzy, Hugh Grant, and Lilly Allen because they were/are lefty leaning is the work of the gutter press – and a jolly good job they are making of it, along with ageing actresses and their telephones, jogging Tories who tell lies and Catholic MP’s who make money out of contraceptives whilst denying a woman’s right to choose.
Am I angry? Effin right I’m angry. Am I surprised, of course I’m not, my old man used to say when Capitalism dies, like a wild animal, it will crawl into a corner and lash out. Well they don’t frighten me, I shall be voting on December 12th, as a Jew, a second generation immigrant a septuagenarian and a supporter of humanity – I’m off now to sit in the back row of our local Norman Church to meditate, because thanks to our democratic system I bloodiwell can.

4 thoughts on “Jew- Ish”

  1. Unfortunately, Jeni, common sense has gone out the window, so too have many values … sad. Loved 12 Chefs of Christmas the first time around. Would love an update instead of the annual repeats. God bless, no matter where, no matter who. Happy Christmas x

  2. Haha! Just read this blog! I loved it being a Jewish guy and an orthodox one too! I couldn’t stop laughing! I love your sense of humour! It’s keeping you going!
    Luv xxx

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