Me and my shadow.

Put on a big puffy jacket, had my pyjamas and thick socks over my suede clogs, and left the house in the frosty morning.
The earth was hard, paw prints frozen in the mud. The grass white and crusty. Sounded like I was walking on cardboard boxes.
A strip of pink announced the morning.
My body was warm and my face frozen, like swimming in the Blue Lagoon.
Birds whistled, crows cawed and the distant hum and whoosh of cars. Rush hour in East Sussex.
As I climbed the slope into the field the sun shone onto my left side. My shadow, bigger than me, accompanied me in the hedgerow. As I moved up the hill my shadow grew taller, then skinny, then massive on the logs in the farmers shed. By the time I reached the avenue the sun was on my right and I was shadowing myself on the Eucalyptus trees.
My big puffy jacket and skinny long legs. The chickens cackled as I walked past them.
Last night I gave a talk to Rotherfield WI. Started at 8.00 finished at 8.45. My life story in 45 minutes. I could say that just about sums it up, like black plastic bags full of a life at a house clearance. But that sounds dark and it wasn’t I had a wonderful time. The tea was hot and sweet the audience sweet and warm, by the time I crawled into my car I felt life coming back to me.
I covered my pain with a thick pair of tights and a loose dress. The women told me not to worry about the scan, that everything would be ok. The women, all 35 of them, clapped my recovery.
So it’s Tuesday night. Tomorrow the accountant and Thursday the scan. I have pictures in my head of me falling to my knees in relief and then I have pictures of me falling to my knees in despair. Whatever it is it will be dealt with.