Met up with the agent in Fiori Corner. I paid for two hot chocolates and tears. He left I sat and nursed my wounds.
Being chucked out into the big wide world again is not what I had anticipated for the end of 2009.
Then the rain came down, cats and dogs, poodles of puddles. I put up my hood, my Apple bag full of books strapped to my back. I made countless calls to the PR company that were sorting out tickets for CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF and finally arrived at THE NOVELLO THEATRE so wet the faux fur on my sleeves looked like little dead pussies.
Clarence, my nearasdamnit son met me and we went and had a very good coffee and tea cake in the DOUBLE SHOT COFFEE CO. in TAVISTOCK STREET.
We took our seats in the circle – row ‘B ‘- and settled down for some bad acting, empty performances and ridiculous direction, but the play is sublime and the writing brilliant Tennessee Williams really knew his stuff.
I walked over Waterloo Bridge, the rain teeming down. My already soggy cuffs got soggier and my soggy hood got even soggier than the moggies round my wrist. Grabbed a cab and talked to my girl-friends who commiserated with me all the way back to Battersea.
I’ve just eaten smoked salmon and homemade tomato soup.
I am damp and tender.
The old git Sykped me, lovely, and Sybil in Hollywood is a-calling later.
My spirits down but not broken. I do not wish my old agent any kind of misfortune I am just sad that he kept his intentions from me.
I take total responsibility for what’s happened my instinct was screaming out like a banshee. Did I listen.? Did I chuff!
Listening is now the name of the game. I have to concentrate like billio now. I screwed up two important moments in todays show I was so all over the place but the boss forgave me and I have forgiven myself – just.
Change and me are difficult bed fellows, there’s nothing I can do about the loss of the agent, I await a new agent to present themselves to me.
All being well they will be strong and supportive, like a truss.
For thats what I need a truss I can trust.
night night.
Hi Jeni
Remember how adrift you felt when you left GFL, look how one door closed and another one opened, and what a door that was! So maybe this is more of the same, a diamond of an agent is waiting in the wings!!
Have a good cry if you feel like it then promise yourself that your going to keep positive.
Hope this helps, it’s sent with love.
June
* BIG HUG *
Hello again Jeni, you’ve guessed I’m catching up haven’t you?! Please forgive yourself; a mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it. I’m learning a HUGE amount at the moment & I’m so glad I’ve been given the chance to do so.
Trust yourself first & foremost.
Big hugs.
you will still be working on more “audience with” though won’t you…..agent or no????
Love you
Marmite xx
Hi Jeni,
I’m a true believer that some good comes out of some bad. Maybe a new agent will have more luck in getting you back on our TV screens, too late for Christmas but maybe by Easter we could see you presenting holiday cover for Holly and Philip, or even Paul O’Grady! I could also see you replacing Louis Walsh at next years X Factor, you and Simon Cowell would make for great veiwing, you’re an entertainer and he’s not. hope these words fill you full of hope?
Hope reigns eternal..
Take care Hymie x
Been ages since we chatted! I leave you alone for a few months and come back to find that you think you are coming undone.
You will be fine. All will be well. Get things sorted before the end of the year and start the new one with a fresh view on work
You have come a long way in the last couple of years. No need to get upset now.
Love
Chrissie xx