Its the end of a BIG four days off.
The cottage feels a little more normal, even though there is a big space where the dogs bed was.
On Friday I collected my newly mended motor, handed over the fancy courtesy car and headed off to a new hairdresser. An ex-body builder who now heals. She does a mean cut and colour, which isn’t mind numbingly expensive, but her healing she does free of charge as she believes her power comes from an invisible force.
She so energised me I drove straight home, hood down, mowed the grass and tossed my hair over the compost – because I’m worth it – by the time I got half way through I was smiling. Damn but I love mowing that lawn, I even gave Marmite Girl a little nod as she sent kind regards for the weekend.
Saturday saw me entertaining long-lost family. They had never visited the cottage before so it took them as long to get to East Sussex from Middlesex as it would a return flight to Adelaide. I gave them local asparagus with local duck eggs. Local turkey burgers with local purple potatoes, after which we had locally baked apple strudel, all from the local farmers market in Tunbridge Wells. The sun shone, we talked family and beyond and they left late. Owing to roadworks and their stupid Sat. Nav. they arrived home in time for Boxing Day breakfast.
On May 25th, 20 years ago, Jim and I got married. We celebrated the fact with all three daughters, present boyfriends, ex-fiancees, one grand daughter and one great grandmother. The event took place in the garden.The weather was kind, we quaffed several bottles of champagne, gorged on local sausages, local black potatoes, local lettuce and local cheese and as the local Church bells chimed we staggered inside for more of everything. This morning I was still wobbly on the old pins. As it was our CHINA anniversary we were given a beautiful Wedgewood cake-stand which was laden with little chocolate squares from Russia. Wedgewood plates, a delightful 50’s bone China tea-cup and saucer, a stunning set of purple painted art deco plates, one china door knob and a healthy fiscal donation from the grandmother.
Breakfast this morning was scrambled eggs, Bill Granger style – loads of cream and butter – bagels, smoked salmon and fractious arguments over spilt tea and freshly brewed coffee.
I am now suffering from an overload. ‘Britains Got Talent’ is shouting at me from the corner of the room. B is on her computer, Nathan is playing football, Jim is acting and I am preparing myself for tomorrows programme.
I need to go to work for a rest.
Finally a message to Mrs.Jones,
In response to your comment, there is nothing wrong with Chiselhurst, its called a joke.
And I am not in the business of competing for ‘who has had had the biggest grief competition’. The death of Jackson hit me sideways, he was part of my life for nearly 14 years.
I cannot, however, begin to imagine the pain a parent goes through after the death of a child. But grieving, Mrs. Jones, is unquantifiable.
I sincerely hope that whatever pain you have had in your life was dealt with rather more sensitively than you seem to be able to deal with others. I do, however, forgive your terseness even though sometimes it stings.
Please have a peaceful night and
cuall2morrer.
Are you Jeni from Homshill School, Boreham Wood? Looks like you.
I’ve lived In the USA for the last 37 years.
If you are the same one love to get in touch.
Remembering your mum the school librarian and your brother!
Hope to hear back from you.
Pippa
I forgot…COYS
Yep, still a HUGE Spurs fan!
Don’t upset Jeni, Mrs Jones. She’s our pal. And yes, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but we’re not all entitled to yours.
I can only imagine that losing a child is horrific and the worst imaginable unending pain, but just because we feel lesser griefs deeply doesn’t mean we belittle the huge mind numbing griefs. Give us a break, Mrs Jones.
Hi Jeni. Been a ‘lurker’ on your blog for some time. Always enjoy reading it. Havent commented so far but I felt I just had to say what a wonderfully dignified way to respond to such an insensitive comment.
Congratulations on your 20th anniversary.
Sounds like you and your family had a wonderful weekend full of love and happiness. Well done! for your dignified reply to Mrs J…
And finally,
Godbless Jackson, sleep well little fellow
Hymie x
I love your blog and the comments, really look forward to it and enjoy. Never joined in before but must thank you for your reply to Mrs Jones, I’m sure some of us just wanted to smack her legs! So here’s another Mrs Jones who loves ya!
Hi Jeni
Just listened to your show on mediums etc. Funnily enough my stepson was just at a medium and was told there were two male figures looking after him, the medium even named them and they were his uncles who both died in their 50s.
I think people who are mega sceptic are just scared of the unknown.
Glad you had a nice long weekend. I read “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, it’s Oprah’s Book of the Month and is all about “there’s no such thing as the past and future only the NOW”, and the importance of breath (yes I know how ridiculous THAT sounds), it’s fascinating. I suspect you might have read it though?
Also glad to hear from Kirsten – keep on keepin on Kirsten, and Jeni, you keep on grieving as much as you need to gurlll.
Hugs xxxx Fee
Hi Jeni
Thanks for the nod (you still haven’t done my grass though!) Glad you had a great weekend, it sounds like it did you the power of good.
Lots of love Marmite xx
Mrs Jones….was that comment REALLY necessary, whether a dog, cat, child, parent, best friend or pet caterpillar everyone deals with grief differently, that was way out of order.
Why does that woman bother reading your bloggs? I’m glad my children never had a teacher so unhelpful and unsympathetic as mrs jones. (I know its bad english by the way, she doesn’t need to tell me, and guess what I don’t care) Lots of love to you Jeni, I know exactly how you are feeling, and I promise it will get better. Love to Kirsten too xx
Me again Jeni, I just realisd mrs jones just wants a reaction from us (how childish obviously spends too much time with little people) so next time we won’t say a word, just let her rant eh? xx
Touche re terseness! You know little about me or my sensitivities – you leave yours bare in your blog!
Nice to see (hear) you back, glad you had a good weekend, pitty the weather wasnt as good as it should have been. Similar to you have been married for 20+ years, it only gets better!
Kevin
Hi Jeni, I’m glad you had a great weekend & Happy Anniversary to you & Jim. Reading your blog has made me quite hungry!
Hi Rhianon, I’m ok thanks. Started radiotherapy today, started Tamoxifen last week; am already experiencing side effects, unfortunately. Never mind though, onwards & upwards! (I’d hate Mrs Jones to think I was moaning!! 🙂 ) Best wishes to all.
Hi Jenny
you really are a star, you have the patience and understanding of a saint !
Glad you had a fantastic 20th anniversary with your lovely Jim and family.
We celebrate ours in June, and come the end of October we are going to be Grandparents ! Wow what a year this will be – can’t wait.
Talk to you soon
Tess x
Commiserations for Jackson
Congratulations on anniversary
dates please for Audience with yourself
Mrs Jones Get a life!!!!!!
Dear Jeni,
Happy anniversary to you and Jim.
You are still so much in love, it’s obvious ,even the little terse moments are proof of it!
We love Bill’s scrambled eggs for special breakfasts.
Wish we could see your new hair.
Maybe sometime soon??
Hi Jeni
For some of us the glass is always half full, for others half empty. I don’t think Mrs Jones even has a glass, perhaps that’s why she is so grumpy!
Love June
Hi Jeni
I love the thought of dalmation dungerees, they sound so cosy!
Great to here from a lovely Mrs Jones!!
I agree with Judi 4 re: other Mrs Jones!!!
Finally, but the most important, wonderful to hear from Kirsten, we ALL wish you well again soon.
Love June
Go for it Kirsten. The side effects are miserable and unpleasant I know, but they’ll help you fight and win. Keep us all informed how you’re doing, yeah? We’re quite a little family here aren’t we? Even miserable old great aunt Jones!