Bank Holiday Sunlessday

Bank Holiday Sunlessday.

I have had to wear a thick fleecy blue sweater, Jim’s black anorak, thick sweat pants and my new trainers to keep out the wind and the cold. Everybody is sneezing. The roads are waterlogged and the dog smells of wet fur. The cat comes in and rubs her soaking wet body against my legs. The heating is on and it feels like winter.

That did not stop me from shopping for raw food and taking BB into TWells for new clothes. The mockery of all those pretty summer dresses hanging on their Top Shop hangers as Kate Moss looked into the middle distance on the back wall. I noticed that her left nipple was up. I’m not surprised – it was friggin freezing in the shop.

I don’t know about Global warming. I met a great bloke at OHI who talked about sun spots being part of the cause of our climate change. It seems we have a sun spot that is 36 degrees on that big hot star that is waiting to destroy us in 2012. Which is why, he said, the Mayan Calender stopped at that point and Nostradamus said it was all coming to an end in 5 years time. I listened open-mouthed as he told me stories of aliens, space ships, and of The Better Burgers, a group of Illuminati who want to take over the world and the secret life-forms on the dark side of the moon-all of this whilst we juiced out wheat grass for our enemas.

Now that the sky is as dark as November there may be something in it, although I’m not too worried because he said there are a lot of ‘Indigo Children’ who are working to turn it all around. I just wish they would sort it by Friday because I want to mow the lawn.

I had a hot lemon drink. It really bothered my bladder – TOO ACIDIC it said – so I was told to drink a glass of warm bicarbonate of soda. I did. I then promptly chucked up outside the bank, although that may have had something to do with my overdraught, but then felt a lot better. So I can finally say that I have adjusted to being at home.

I’ve just finished ‘Illusions’ by Richard Bach, the bloke who wrote ‘Johnathan Livingstone Seagull’. A sweet little book, I left it on the stairs for BB to read. So far she’s walked past it fourteen times. I am having lunch on Wednsday with my ex Studio bosses. There’s an awards ceremony on Thursday, and then back to the cottage for the weekend.

I still can’t believe I’m not working. I have never done ‘nothing’ before. It’s a strange feeling. I have worked since I was 18, and when I did have periods of resting, I worried like crazy. Not this time. I’m loving it. But I do need to organise my life a little better.

So far I haven’t written any more of the book, haven’t meditated, haven’t exercised, and haven’t created my next show. But I have spent a lot of time with the family and that is novel, although I can’t wait to get back to work. But I have to create it first. I think I know what I want. The minute I do, you’ll be the first to know. I always have a wish list which I write at the beginning of the year. A list of ten things I want to happen.

I write it in lovely coloured felt pen writing. Clear and concise. I leave it next to me bed so I see it morning and night. That’s how I got my flat on the river, my little red car, all sorts of odds and sods. LBC was on my wish list for this year. I have always wanted to do radio but never thought I could. It seems that those who grant the wishes think I can, so I’m preparing myself.

They do say be careful what you wish for because you may just get it. I don’t know where I had the idea from but it’s all the rage now what with the ‘Secret’ and ‘What the Bleep do You Know’. Quantum Physics meets the spirtual. Interesting stuff. I am going to write a new wish list now, and maybe even make a vision board. Cut out some pictures that reflect what I want and then reflect on the pictures. My first pic will be of a nice sunny day with me wearing a bikini – well, maybe not the last bit, but Kate Moss and I do need the sun, so I’ll stick with that. I’m off now to find some glue.


7 thoughts on “Bank Holiday Sunlessday”

  1. Hi Jen
    I am missing GFL and hope your meeting with your ex studio bosses sees a new show on the horizon, well at least talk of one. I dont wish to dwell but MK is woeful and Gords should put his own wife back in his kitchen!
    I will try and listen in to you on the 16th could you please tell us the time you will be on as I’m in Australia and will need to listen in over the net on sunday as your 16th is my 17th…well just want to say how much I enjoy your site…glad to have you and your clean colon back again…now I’m off t pub (my family are from Leeds and totally understand the Jim speak) Will let you know if any Better Burgers appear downunder…Cheers lady!

  2. Jeni,
    Mammoth card writer and eager tv runner here… I was in Tunny Wells this weekend, as everybody here (uni) is busy revising and the rehearsals for my performance on Weds/Thurs weren’t happening so a friend and I decided to take a trip to her hometown, and it made me think of you. Glad to see the trip was eventful and a success. Have a good week and hopefully I’ll see you soon.. Ciao for now xxx
    P.S. I’ll invite you to the next performance!

  3. ‘Illusions’, eh? Cracking little read, that. Have you got the ‘Messiahs Handbook’ that Don Shimoda had? I found a copy. Lovely soft covered book, bit blue/grey in colour, just like he said. Dust jacket is like old manuscript paper. The same as the stuff I used to practice my William Cole exercises on! The same publishers, I expect. Nice follow up.

  4. Hi Jeni. Glad you had such a brilliant experience at OHI. It reminded me of that programme recently called The Spa of Embarrasing Illnesses which I, my husband and kids were all riveted to. We were completely mesmerised by the daily inspections of intestinal plaque! I can’t wait to hear what your next work project will be and I have to hope that it will place you back on our TV screens once again. Strange to hear you speak of Richard Bach – we are currently pruning our book collection and Richard Bachs many works have made it to the discard pile along with David Icke (oy has that man got problems!), six of our eight copies of Pride and Prejudice, The Joys of Yiddish and my childhood Hagadah, which I have held on to in case the children were ever interestd in their mother’s religious heritage. I can say with some confidence that they are not. Thank you for reminding me about The Secret which has been gathering dust in the TV room since I watched it. All my god intentions came to naught but maybe it’s time I got my finger out and applied some of their suggestions to my own life. Take care of yourself and enjoy every minute.

  5. YOU’RE BACK!!!!Hooray! I knew about sodium thingy try Liz Earle stuff or Molton Brown its brill. You can get both in London us in the north have to make do with internet shopping. Enjoy the radio tomorrow I wont be able to listen but will be thinking of you. Break a leg! xx

  6. So good to hear all is well with you. Miss you on G F L but i’m sure we will see you back on the screen soon.

  7. LOVELY TO HAVE YOU BACK!!! I have been in the depths of the Midlands attending my granddaughters christening so haven’t seen your last blogs. I have loved reading your experiences – still missing you loads on TV but hope to hear you when you start with LBC. Lets hope someone sees sense and puts you back on GFL where you belong. Keep your chin up – it will all happen, we’re all rooting for you. Lots of love
    Jenny B

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