Bank Holiday Sunlessday

Bank Holiday Sunlessday.

I have had to wear a thick fleecy blue sweater, Jim’s black anorak, thick sweat pants and my new trainers to keep out the wind and the cold. Everybody is sneezing. The roads are waterlogged and the dog smells of wet fur. The cat comes in and rubs her soaking wet body against my legs. The heating is on and it feels like winter.

That did not stop me from shopping for raw food and taking BB into TWells for new clothes. The mockery of all those pretty summer dresses hanging on their Top Shop hangers as Kate Moss looked into the middle distance on the back wall. I noticed that her left nipple was up. I’m not surprised – it was friggin freezing in the shop.

I don’t know about Global warming. I met a great bloke at OHI who talked about sun spots being part of the cause of our climate change. It seems we have a sun spot that is 36 degrees on that big hot star that is waiting to destroy us in 2012. Which is why, he said, the Mayan Calender stopped at that point and Nostradamus said it was all coming to an end in 5 years time. I listened open-mouthed as he told me stories of aliens, space ships, and of The Better Burgers, a group of Illuminati who want to take over the world and the secret life-forms on the dark side of the moon-all of this whilst we juiced out wheat grass for our enemas.

Now that the sky is as dark as November there may be something in it, although I’m not too worried because he said there are a lot of ‘Indigo Children’ who are working to turn it all around. I just wish they would sort it by Friday because I want to mow the lawn.

I had a hot lemon drink. It really bothered my bladder – TOO ACIDIC it said – so I was told to drink a glass of warm bicarbonate of soda. I did. I then promptly chucked up outside the bank, although that may have had something to do with my overdraught, but then felt a lot better. So I can finally say that I have adjusted to being at home.

I’ve just finished ‘Illusions’ by Richard Bach, the bloke who wrote ‘Johnathan Livingstone Seagull’. A sweet little book, I left it on the stairs for BB to read. So far she’s walked past it fourteen times. I am having lunch on Wednsday with my ex Studio bosses. There’s an awards ceremony on Thursday, and then back to the cottage for the weekend.

I still can’t believe I’m not working. I have never done ‘nothing’ before. It’s a strange feeling. I have worked since I was 18, and when I did have periods of resting, I worried like crazy. Not this time. I’m loving it. But I do need to organise my life a little better.

So far I haven’t written any more of the book, haven’t meditated, haven’t exercised, and haven’t created my next show. But I have spent a lot of time with the family and that is novel, although I can’t wait to get back to work. But I have to create it first. I think I know what I want. The minute I do, you’ll be the first to know. I always have a wish list which I write at the beginning of the year. A list of ten things I want to happen.

I write it in lovely coloured felt pen writing. Clear and concise. I leave it next to me bed so I see it morning and night. That’s how I got my flat on the river, my little red car, all sorts of odds and sods. LBC was on my wish list for this year. I have always wanted to do radio but never thought I could. It seems that those who grant the wishes think I can, so I’m preparing myself.

They do say be careful what you wish for because you may just get it. I don’t know where I had the idea from but it’s all the rage now what with the ‘Secret’ and ‘What the Bleep do You Know’. Quantum Physics meets the spirtual. Interesting stuff. I am going to write a new wish list now, and maybe even make a vision board. Cut out some pictures that reflect what I want and then reflect on the pictures. My first pic will be of a nice sunny day with me wearing a bikini – well, maybe not the last bit, but Kate Moss and I do need the sun, so I’ll stick with that. I’m off now to find some glue.

CU2morrer.