Acupuncture and pink champagne

I guess this post ought to be in my acupuncture category but you really need to know the ridiculous lengths I’m going through to survive the last few days of GFL.

I had needles put in the tips of my index fingers – yes, of course it hurt! And in the tips of my toes – bloody right, it was painful. And three in my head – just don’t ask. When the last two went in my arm, my big toes screamed and I gave in.

The thing about acupuncture is that it works on all sorts of levels, from the thyroid to the spirit. That’s assuming you have one, of course. My acupuncturist is a very glamorous Swedish woman with the heart of a viking. When she shoves that needle into your extremities, believe me – you have to trust her otherwise you would be dialling 999 for the emergency services. Ms J understands my need for salvation at the moment. I know all good things come to and end but it doesn’t stop it from hurting. Especially when I read all the emails. It’s killing me.

Today we had Silvena Rowe on. She’s an Amazonian Bulgarian with the sharpest of tongues and the finest of sensibilities. She made us a real Hungarian ghoulash – spot the deliberate mistake – with little tiny dumplings that swum in the soup alongside great big hunks of beef.

On Sunday I walked Jackson, the dog, round the back lane of my house. The wood yard smelt of new spring logs whilst the aconites and celadines thrust their white and yellow flowers in your face. Almost sluttish, they were. By the time we reached the back of the pub, I was thinking that if ever a reason was needed for moving into the back of beyond it was this walk, and just to prove my theory, there they were: little lambs, sprayed with their mothers number on their little furry backs. Ma 3 bleated for lambs 3 and 3, the black sheep called for number 13 and two jet black babies gamboled into view. I stood at the gate with the dog and watched as mummy No.12 stamped her foot and told us to bugger off. We did. I’m not going to eat lambikins until that memory has worn off.

By the time we got home I knew my time was up. We may eat seasonally in the studio, but we don’t see the buds on the tree, or the new leaves forming, or the falling of the same.

Anyway, Silvena flirted mercilessly with Collin Brown, Caribbean chef of the year (twice), who made us curried lobster which we dribbled down our fronts. Then we imbibed Joe Wadsacks’s potent cocktails.

It was a strange old show as we had all read the review in the London Evening Standard about our demise. You can put it all on the back burner until the tea-towel catches fire but then you have to face up to the truth – the end is nigh.

Even as I write I still can’t believe it, but my lovely nearly-son took me out to get drunk. We had two bottles of pink champagne, talked to the bar owners, and walked back to the flat in a not-very-straight line. Collin Brown wore his bling earrings with pride, whilst I wear my pride on my sleeve.

My eyes are closing with the enormity of the situation. Thank you, Victor Lewis Smith, for your support. Thanks to everyone for your wonderful messages. Night, night. C U 2morrer.

10 thoughts on “Acupuncture and pink champagne”

  1. Jeni,I did post a comment last week but i’m not sure whether it got through to you or not. I just want you to know that as the end of GFL gets closer, I am realising even more that I am going to miss you soooooooooooo much!I still think that it is absolute madness to pull a programme that is watched and loved by so many people.I want you to know that I wish you well in all of your future ventures and think that you are the best presenter that uktv food has ever lost! (Or should I say cast aside) Jeni you are a star that shines brighter than uktv food and I am sure that they will rue the day that they made the decision to end the institution that is GFL. long live Queen Jeni!

  2. Hello Jeni,
    Great show yesterday. You and Silvena – what a double act! Once the pair of you started talking about dumplings I had to calm myself and have a cold shower! My wife and I will really miss the programme and all the brilliant people you have on it. Tea time will never be the same again. Not much else to say as it has already been said on the web and here on your pages. We look forward to seeing you soon.
    Just one last question – When Silvena was cooking her “ghoulash” yesterday was she standing on a box or were you standing in a hole???
    Mike & Debbie xx

  3. Hi Jeni.
    Is your production company reading the e-mails? It would appear your viewers like the format, but mostly like you. It is cosy and fun and we feel involved with the chefs and your great sense of fun. Without your teasing and flirting with some of these ernest, young chefs, we would not see their personalities. They have a lot to thank you for. Food, fun and Jenni Barnett go hand in hand. What a shame, you will be missed.

  4. I wish you well in everything you do. Thank you for teaching us to cook and making us aware of the sustainability of our fish stocks. We will all miss you.

  5. Hey Jenni
    What a great blog you write I sit with a broad smile on my face apart from the sad bits. It is such a shame to think you are so unhappy – we are so used to you being full of fun and happy, smiley lady. But, it must be hard. You are still the best presenter on TV and I know that you will not be off our screens for long! Someone I am sure has already snapped you up. Reading your blog about your drunken champagne infused evening and funnily enough both myself and my OH got together with a couple of friends and also got a bit p@@@@d too. After a few glasses we got quite emotional about the fact that we were losing you from our screens! Thats the drink for you eh! Anyway keep posting your blog even when GFL finishes. You are such an interesting lady and I love seeing what you are wearing each day.
    Love and Regards
    Kathy X

  6. Jeni nooooooo… the formula works with you and your guests i think the powers that be are MAD. Can’t believe no more Rimmers thighs….. no more gorgeous Nutter – i’ll have whatever he is on….. and no more of the absolutely gloriously bonkers Wadzack and Olly, they should have their own show ! The family will miss the show. Best wishes to ALL the Team.

  7. Jeni – I have already posted a message on the UKTV Food site but have since found your personal site. I want you to know that over the past three or four years I feel as though I have found a wonderful new friend who can make me laugh, cry, shriek with surprise and cheer me up however bad a day I’ve just had in the office. PLEASE don’t decide to retire, however political and exhausting the world of tv becomes. I have never felt this way about the end of a tv series and will be hanging on this site to find out what you will be doing next. Thanks a million for a million laughs – who cares about the chefs or the food?! Courage and rock on!

  8. hello jenni,i,like millions more,have stocked up with copious boxes of tissues for this week.its a world gone mad.i want to thank you for making me laugh on a daily basis,so important at this tricky “50 something” time of life.I have never been compelled before to put the proverbial pen to paper,but now i have.although fully aware ,sadly, not a lot can be done. Dear, funny, larger than life jenni; to quote a famous phrase-“come back soon!” and preferably on a daily basis. Your public loves you.

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