Jeni Barnett

The cats on the table next to me and the computer he is soaking wet. The rain is tip tapping on the skylight and the old git has gone to bed. I’ve cleaned the kitchen so the cleaner can get on with other things and I’ve read most of the papers. Last night I watched … Read more

The tree went up, the tree came down. Christmas was a blaze of visiting revellers from Boxing Day to Twelfth night. The local ones brought flowers and a Christmas cake, as we ate Piccalilly and left over turkey. Hampers of goodwill were brought into the cottage. The South London lot carried in chicken and trifle. … Read more

8 days before Crimbo and, I am in the swim of dialysis. I said I wouldn’t need it, wouldn’t take it and it wasn’t necessary but, what do I know… I have finally surrendered to the onslaught of physical breakdown. The shame and humiliation of being breathless and incapacitated hit me hard. Up until July … Read more

I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am no longer who I was. For 75 years I did what I wanted when I wanted to. I ate what I wanted I slept when I wanted I walked and danced and hustled my way through a busy, working life. And then in … Read more

So a bloke wrote to me saying what a waste of NHS resources I am, and why didn’t I listen to them the first time round. He has a point. It’s only been three months since I was in hospital last, and this time the stakes got even higher. I didn’t take on board that … Read more

Finger pointing in the White House, what a waste of time. Blaming and shaming, what a waste of energy. Trump and his cohorts played a clever game. The American electorate were not interested in a philosophical debate about abortions or societal changes they wanted a few extra spondulicks and a mouthpiece that spat out gristle. … Read more

I’m not alone in feeling the enormity of Trumps victory. It was the last thing I needed what with the grey clouds and soggy damp. The alarm went off this morning at 7.30 and I climbed out of bed bent double with the realisation of the American dream. I’d stayed up till 3.30 but the … Read more

The turbulence started when our driver got lost to Gatwick. The queues were like a Polish supermarket that had one black rye loaf left. My breathing was shallow and the Northern git had a cough. Going through security was so rammed the guards just told us to chuck everything in the tray and walk through. … Read more

I have a bag of jelly babies on the kitchen table and a bag of jelly babies in the car door. If I should have a diabetic hypo then four fat jelly babies should do the trick. I dont like jelly babies on account of me eating a black one when I was a kid … Read more

Three and a half weeks ago life was comparatively normal and then wallop. I had to go to the renal unit in Brighton. An old hospital tacked onto a new build. Corridors and lifts porters and stethoscopes. The old git drove us and observed me handing over my protein rich urine sample. Sat in a … Read more