KING’S STANDING

JIM: ‘Do you think the sun is lower?’ Mother and daughter and dog MOTHER: ‘Yes.’ With an upward inflection like in ‘Neighbours.’ ME: ‘I feel like I’m listing to the right?’ In the interest of democratic conversation we’ll have the daughter speak. DAUGHTER: ‘Really?’ With a downward inflection like in ‘East Enders’ ME: It must … Read more

HOVE ACTUALLY

So after two weeks of abominable pain, the jaw bone, though intermittently spiteful, was significantly more bearable. So after a zoom meet with my writing partner in South Africa, I put some lipstick on, clean woolly wear against the cold, and off we set. Driving through the countryside was like travelling through a Harris tweed … Read more

FANGS FOR THE MEMORY

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away and then gums and age and cracked root canals kicked in and our trip to Hastings was aborted. After last Thursdays Eastbourne extravaganza each week was to be filled with a beano to a beauty spot in Blighty, BUT gums and age and cracked root canals kicked … Read more

EASTBOURNE

We made the decision to go to the seaside. The weather forecast was sun and more sun even though it was a bit chilly. Enjoying the chillyness takes my mind off global warming, We set off, and because of Scamsgate, we had to take cash that was stashed – to buy petrol – which has … Read more

scams

The tip tapping of rain on the kitchen skylight it’s like being in a tent. The cat’s asleep on the bed. The old git’s asleep in the bed. I’m downstairs listening to the rain and recovering from yesterday. It’s nearly 2.30a.m. and we’re both recovering from yesterday. The old man got a phone call at … Read more

Stop with the snivelling

Today I walked. The sun was warm and everything felt pink. I wandered down through huge firs and up through a field that had been recently ploughed, all darkly earthy and wormy. I pootled down the avenue tripping over shiny conkers that had split out of their spiky shells. I walked and talked to myself … Read more

I remember

I had to walk away from the news tonight. The slaughtering of pigs, of hunting hounds, the slaughtering of people. I had to walk away from the broadcasting of yet more pain and misery. I turned my back on melting snow and forest fires. I had to leave the images of volcanic dust and burned … Read more

BIG UP AUTUMN

My grandmothers’ under arms swung with the effort of scrubbing the kitchen table. She used a big wooden brush with big bristles dipped in boiling hot water, back and forth she worked until the wooden table looked clean enough to eat off – which we did. After a long walk I took the fruit bowl, … Read more

Greavsie

I suppose you could say that as a YID, Tottenham Hotspur was always going to be my team. Ok I know that calling my self a YID is sententious, tendentious and a tad contentious, but like Bagels I am a product of the East End of London, and though being called a YID was both … Read more

ODE TO POVERTY

Is there anything worse than a greedy person? Greedy people that have a lot and don’t want anybody else to have even a wee bit of it. Greedy people who own houses and yachts but can’t find it in their hearts to give away even one part of it to poor people who have nothing. … Read more