Driving Ambition

When I was in my very early thirties I decided to learn to drive. My first instructor was a chauvinist pig. “That’s the trouble with women drivers” he would sigh, “If something drops on the floor they cant leave it alone. They have to bend down to pick it up, they stop concentrating and blah … Read more

Village People

The Global village is too damn big. None of us know what we should be doing in this massive overgrown village of ours. I don’t think there should be systematic killing or genocide or enforced sterilisation I just think we have to start thinking small. Not so small that a mouses squeak is a roar. … Read more

Heads Up

I’ve just been informed by my historical friend that Elizabethan hats were an essential part of clothing for men in the ‘Peacock Age’. That they were, in fact, required to wear their headpieces, along with their codpieces, at dinner. The old git has a panoply of hats; straw hats, deerstalkers, Russian military ushankas, a collection … Read more

A scattalogical story

A coffee in the park. Breakfast in the garden. The tomatoes are beginning to turn red. The dawter is cooking dinner. The old git’s car is still in the garage, it’ll cost the same as a fleet of Skoda Karoq’s. I walked the orchard and found a golden delicious windfall, sweet and crunchy. But there’s … Read more

Happy Jewish New Year 5781.

It takes one hour and thirty six minutes to travel twenty miles from Crawley to our local Waitrose. Every Friday, come rain or shine, Anna makes that journey to stand outside the back doors of Waitrose – used to be the front doors but Covid closed them – and wearing her headscarf and an engaging … Read more

Pater

I have come to the conclusion that I am lazy. Indolence, of course, is the prevaricators excuse for fear. I do loads of things but they’re all displacement activities. I meditate, on rising, and put any thoughts of anything out of my head. I listen to Deepak Chopra and imagine that my world is unutterably … Read more

Confusion

I’ve talked to my nephew and niece, I’ve talked to my oldest girlfriends, I’ve talked to the old git and I’ve just come in from sitting in the sun, on a bench in the garden talking to my next door neighbour about confusion. Are we not all confused? Are we not victims of governmental decisions … Read more

Singalong

My little golden Maneki-neko is waving her arm backwards and forwards. I always thought she was Chinese but I’ve since learnt that Maneki-neko is Japanese in origin, at any rate she sits on the left speaker on the shelf in front of the window. She’s meant to wave in good luck. At the moment she’s … Read more

September

The blueberry bush, of thirty years, was singed by the hot sun as was my ancient camellia, their leaves papery and curled. There are brown patches on the lawn and my two new rose clippings that were doing so well have turned a deeper shade of pale. The blackberries are now shrivelled, the spinach wan … Read more

You Never Promised Me a Rose Garden

The White House Rose Garden was established in 1913 by Ellen Louise Axson Wilson the wife of Woodrow Wilson. It was on the site of a previous ‘colonial’ garden established by First Lady Edith Roosevelt, those roses took a lot of tending and a good deal of horse shit. Then a rumour reached me that … Read more