Jeni Barnett

We set off after the old git and the dawter had hung the festive lights outside the kitchen, after I had brought up the Christmas tree and box of decorations from the cellar, and after a quick shower. It was 12.15. The car seats were covered in Bombay mix – hard to get the Indian … Read more

We’ve been on an enforced cyber-detox. On Monday I was driving back from The Forest, called the old git to say I was coming home, when a young woman answered. I hung up and dialled again and the same young woman answered. I was short, demanding she told me who she was and what she … Read more

I did thirty minutes kundalini yoga at 7.00a.m. ONG NAMO GURU DEV NAMO -easy for you to say. Then I climbed into the bath and listened to the news, baby bubbles tickling my submerged body. Given the nature of the news; refugees, sinking dinghies, homeless children, famines and greedy arseholes who’s money is predicated on … Read more

It’s Thursday so it must be Hastings. I climbed into the car wearing trainers over Peter the Rigger’s socks. He loaned them to me yesterday when I got frost bite in my toes. I pulled up my heavy duty blue dungarees and pulled over a thick blue woollen sweater, over which was my trusty old … Read more

On with my walking boots and sox; my James Dean trousers that I bought in 1995 for Jim’s performance as Launce at the Globe – him and his dog stole the show – a pink sweater to match me kecks and a fancy puffer jacket. You never know what’s on offer on a November day … Read more

JIM: ‘Do you think the sun is lower?’ Mother and daughter and dog MOTHER: ‘Yes.’ With an upward inflection like in ‘Neighbours.’ ME: ‘I feel like I’m listing to the right?’ In the interest of democratic conversation we’ll have the daughter speak. DAUGHTER: ‘Really?’ With a downward inflection like in ‘East Enders’ ME: It must … Read more

So after two weeks of abominable pain, the jaw bone, though intermittently spiteful, was significantly more bearable. So after a zoom meet with my writing partner in South Africa, I put some lipstick on, clean woolly wear against the cold, and off we set. Driving through the countryside was like travelling through a Harris tweed … Read more

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away and then gums and age and cracked root canals kicked in and our trip to Hastings was aborted. After last Thursdays Eastbourne extravaganza each week was to be filled with a beano to a beauty spot in Blighty, BUT gums and age and cracked root canals kicked … Read more

We made the decision to go to the seaside. The weather forecast was sun and more sun even though it was a bit chilly. Enjoying the chillyness takes my mind off global warming, We set off, and because of Scamsgate, we had to take cash that was stashed – to buy petrol – which has … Read more

The tip tapping of rain on the kitchen skylight it’s like being in a tent. The cat’s asleep on the bed. The old git’s asleep in the bed. I’m downstairs listening to the rain and recovering from yesterday. It’s nearly 2.30a.m. and we’re both recovering from yesterday. The old man got a phone call at … Read more