Crumbs….

I’ve just driven from Seven Oaks. Dropped the daughter off, she is finally making her own way in London. The operation was on August 7th, so her recovery has been remarkable.
She is a little like me, more like the old git, but the little that is like me is the fighter.
So Dear Wolfie, when you say I can’t have my cake and eat it as well I beg to differ.
I wouldn’t have had such a daft, dramatic, interesting, wonderful life if I had listened to your wisdom. When life takes a curve ball, out of nowhere, when life drops a ton of camel cack on your head, what do you do?
What do you do Wolfie, Donna and Matt. What do you do when your life splits asunder?
What I do is wash off the pooh, wail for at least three days. (although the shock takes three weeks for the Chi to disperse I am told by my very expensive German Acupuncturist), then cash in my pension and book a holiday for me and them in Costa Rica.


I know it irritates people but I won’t, have never, nor will I ever lie down and lick my wounds for longer than is necessary. As my old father used to say when he was training in his gym at the age of 70:
‘Remember a boxing ring has four corners and you’re only in one of them’
So Matt, when you ask me to respect THE UNDERCLASS, and take a cut, take a look, take a hike, you seem to forget, darling boy, that I am from the underclass. What me, and my peasant upbringing taught me was that when the Ba***ards grind you down you gather up all the crumbs and remould – as quickly as possible. And if it means eating your last piece of cake and baking another one at the same time, so be it.
Therapists, of all shapes and sizes, dont come cheap. some come cheaper than others and the really good ones often come free, but in my experience, a massage, a needling, a chat, a facial, a very swanky bottle of scent, a tasty meal, a drive to Brighton, often helps the wounds heal quicker.
I may well have to give up my wonderful London pad if I cant find the rent, I will have to rethink my whole life. I have been working five days a week in the big smoke since 2001, missing my home, missing my old git BUT, the shock of the dismissal, the shock of unemployment, the shock of the new, means I need time for the dust to settle before I can make a decision.
After my holiday in Costa Packet the ‘oosbind and I will review our lives.
I may stay in the cottage. I meay stay with a friend, I may stay incognito, but whatever I do dear Donna, Matt and Wolfie, it will be with a big smile on my face, a tan, a healthy disposition and the knowledge that however gleeful you are that I have been sacked, however bitchy you may get, I have a strong outlook on life which really does consist of eating as much cake as I can find, eating it, baking it, sharing it and storing it in a good airtight tin under the very expensive trolley I have in my artisan kitchen.
I know there is an uber class of people who really do believe that a lefty windbag cannot enjoy life. That to hold any kind of socialist principle requires poverty, desitution and coal grime ingrained in the cracked fingers of a broken body. Unfortunately Donna, Matt and Wolfie, I do not have a broken body, or a splintered spirit, or a cracked, cynical view of life. I subscribe to the philosophy that life should be for the living by EVERYBODY, not just you or me, but for the ruddy underclass as well.
Not fashionable I know, but when you get to my age people who have FEAR tattoed in their psyche are best left in the basket at the door. I am not a frightened person, I am not greedy or naive. I am an old lady who has been relieved of her duties by the powers that be. I am not a victim, I am not broken, I am just reviewing the situation. as one of my mob sung so eloquently in ‘Oliver’.
Right it’s time for STRICTLY COME DANCING, and my old mucker, dear Anne Widdicombe. I think it’s disgusting that they are making a laughing stock of her, although, to be fair, she chose to do the show. If I can wrestle the ‘oosbind away from The Ryder Cup I shall watch Annie do her rumba, otherwise I’ll relive it later – the last word to Cherly, no darling I have never played with a diablo in my life, should I?

27 thoughts on “Crumbs….”

  1. Fantastic response to Wolfe,Donna and Matt!
    Well written and let’s hope that they finally get the message.
    You are ” moving on ” putting the past way behind you. Leave that past in a shoe box and put it in the main bin collection so it can never be recycled!

  2. My dearest Jeni – YOU ROCK!!!!! And if you ever fancy a trip to the Royal Academy, let me know. I hereby invite you as my guest whenever you like. We’ll have tea & cake in the Friends’ room & send loving vibes to all the bitter people in the world. Enormous hugs to you.

  3. Darling Jeni
    WELL!!!
    You can take the girl out of the East End BUT you’ll never take the East End out of the girl.
    That told them.
    Well done you.
    ENJOY and RELISH your cake your hols and everything else in life Jeni.
    With love
    June

  4. Ah Jen, save a bit of the cake for me. It’s been a tough but interesting year and I fancy having a bit of someone elses cake and eating it too, actually may I have two slices please 😀
    I was listening to Chill radio whilst preparing ratatouille this afternoon and I thought of you; Chill music often reminds me of those of us who meditate and try to stay in touch with the best, most honest and most genuine parts of ourselves.
    Thank goodness you have the time to blog, we are really enjoying it, especially the bit about only being in one corner of the boxing ring – just had to run upstairs and tell my daughter that one *laughs*
    Tisha and Dardar

  5. I would not take any notice of ‘Wolfie Smith’. That person is an immature twat. As you may know, he regularly posts on the LBC thread on a well known media forum, which from what I’ve read is inhabited largely by a few serious idiots of the mental age of around 12, who believe they represent the common views of LBC listeners. Believe me, they don’t..
    Good luck for the future.
    PW

  6. Hello Jeni,
    Well said!
    I’ve been following you for the last four years since I first tuned into that glorious food programme GFL. You’re entertaining, funny, caring and honest. Once again I thank you for being exactly who you are and ‘true to your self’ Dear Wolfe, Donna and Matt, My advise to you is that you spend the next couple of days reading the previous hundreds of blogs, only then will you really know who Jeni Barnett is and why she has so many followers.
    On a personal note to the three of you, I know who you are. I saw you in the playground as a child. I grew up and worked with you in the office. I see you at football matches and I also believe you may even be members of a particular, radical political party. There are many other public figures blogs you may feel at home with but I don’t think this is one of them. You’re not welcome here so ‘please leave’
    Have a fantastic holiday Jeni, and think about ALL the income tax you’ve paid in your working life! Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we? Move on.
    Warmest regards,
    Hymie x

  7. Jeni,
    Not sure why you feel the need to have a go at people on your blog , who are just stating their own opinion.
    Sadly Champagne Socialism is one of the ills of the UK, not helped by New Labour. How a Socialist can have an expensive holiday, cleaners and the like AND still bump the rent for their landlord is beyond me.
    I doubt if I will be seeing you or your kind at the barricades in the near future,from your cosy abode

  8. Well said my lovely, what sad lives cynical, bitter people must lead, enjoy your holiday, you deserve it after all the last one got cancelled so you could take care of your family. We’ll all be waiting here for you June, Kirsten, Hymie, Sybil, Rhiannon, Martin & David and me!
    Much Love
    Marmite xxx
    p.s Bring me back some coffee!!!

  9. Don’t you just get sick of some arseholes? If they don’t approve, well they can sod off. You’re our pal. Pals stick together no matter what, even if we don’t always all agree on everything.
    Thats all really, and if bloody Wilson, Keppel and Betty, or whoever they are, get peeved, tough.

  10. A huge round of applause for Jeni !!!!!! not a woman every to be ‘put down’ she will rise from the ashes and fly into the future, a future that will hopefully involve her most loyal followers. Enjoy the holiday and each a much cake as you can. Hugs to all xxhugxx

  11. And well said to Hymie! You are loved and respected by so many of us Jeni – have a wonderful holiday and come back to us refreshed and rarin to go!
    Big hug,
    Pauline

  12. Pah, as said they are just a group of people who spend 12 hours a day on their little internet forum sprouting their right wing views and disliking anyone like you who DARES to be a socialist.
    I’m sure you’ll be worrying about them (not) while soaking up the sun in Costa Rica and gathering your strength to come back to the next interesting thing you’ll be doing in your life. Have a lovely holiday.
    xxx

  13. Sorry to have prodded the hornets nest here. Somewhat of an over reaction I think but whatever makes you happy. It did wish you best wishes for a peaceful weekend.
    Thank you for your kind words, Peter. They are appreciated.
    Hymie – I can assure you I am not a member of any political party and how you can deduce so much from my two sentences is staggering, I’m sure I know what your veiled comments mean. A very poor show old boy and you do yourself and others a great disservice.
    Good luck for the future.

  14. Hi Jeni, i hope today, with the sun shining for a change, you are feeling good. I, together with my friends and family are still shocked at your departure at LBC. 1 to 4 will never, ever be the same. You were wonderful, wonderful and who ever they have to replace you, won’t match you. I now only listen to Nick Ferrari, Steve and Clive. LBC wil never be the same now. Please please tell us where you are going to be next. I loved your shows at Radlett, loved meeting you and just loved your mum. She is delightful. She so reminded me of a much prettier Miriam Margulies. Have a wonderful holiday…so pleased that your daughter is well on the road to recovery and say hi to lovely Jim. Love Sheila from Cockfostersxxx

  15. Hi Jeni,It’s been a couple of weeks now since your departure from LBC, and at that time, I posted, that “I will miss your comforting voice” – more fool me.
    Your patronizing response to poster Matt, about your upbringing, which includes referring to him as “darling boy” says a lot about you.As for your “supporters” they have been far more bitchy than anything I have written or the others who have dared to voice an opinion. Begs the questions, why allow comments if you cannot take on board the negative opinions also. One of the last posts from your die-hard fans (does that make you feel better), even called anybody who voices an opinion as ar..holes – Charming!
    Who said I am gleeful” that you have been sacked? I never did, I was in fact quite sad actually. Oh well think I have said enough, don’t want to give you any more reasons to feel sorry for yourself. Just remember there are families who have REAL problems! Wish you all the best for your future.

  16. So Peter Wilson believes certain people have a “mental age of 12” and don’t “represent the common views of LBC listeners”.
    Why doesn’t he join us? At least we are allowed free speech and don’t go hysterical when someone disagrees on a point. Maybe it is above his intellectual capacity?

  17. Calm down ….. of course everyone is entitled to free speech but some of the comments on here are just nasty.
    May I suggest that some of the ” Free Speakers ” go for a five mile run? It may just help rid yourselves of all that horrible aggression.

  18. Lovely Jeni
    I really miss you on LBC. have you been censored? – Because all the other presenters, except, sometimes James O’Brien are further right than Genghis Khan! You were always nice enough to read my comments but the others don’t tend to if it interferes with their right-wing agendas.

  19. Hello Jeni,
    You are not an ‘old lady’ – you look great and have so much life in you – forget your age, you are foxier than a lot of women half your age. I hope you have a lovely holiday, and also that we soon hear you on the airwaves again somewhere!

  20. Ohhhh Jeni. How long the afternoons are without you and your lovely programme. Nobody to help me get through the ironing, laughing in between, nobody to make me sniffle with your lovely answers to callers. 3 booos for LBC. Petre Hoskin may be a good presenter, but only in the political and current affairs field, not warm, humorous, sympathetic field like you. Pleease let us know if you are going to be back on the airways – anywhere – soon. Enjoying your articles on your site, anyway. COME BACK JENI BARNETT!!!!XXX

  21. The best blog I have read from you, I think it shows the real unpolished Jeni.
    You are far from old and very attractive.
    Would love to hear from you.
    Your servant always.

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