The Duke of Hazzard

One minute I’m talking about Prince Phillip and his prostate gland, the next Buckingham Palace have taken out a complaint against the Evening Standard.
I must say though, that it did feel just a little bit personal talking about the Princes privates.
It’s 18.30, I’ve tried to watch the news but the sun was shining in through the window and I couldnt see the screen. The flat feels like a Chinese Laundry, hot and steamy.
Last night was a reall tosser – at 3.00 I left the marital bedroom and slid onto the cool settee, unpeeling my body and hour later, I left the top layer of my epidermis on the brown leather to get back into bed with the hot husband. And by that I mean his temperature – we’ve been togther for 32 years for Gods sake.

I listened to my tape by Belleruth Napastack. her gentle voice got gentler and gentler, deeper and deeper, until I relasied the batteries were running flat. By the time she had reached contra bass my heart rate had slowed down so much Jim thought I had died.
Now I feel like I’m in a Malayan Jungle, the humidity is fierce, whilst all this talk of recession, credit crunch, job losses and financial squeezing makes me want to go out and blow all the silver in my purse.
Gail Porter came into the studio to talk to me. She is a breath of fresh air. A real reminder that whatever life throws at you there’s always something in the reserve tank to get you back on the road. She gave me a little gift, red leather flowers on a string, made by Laura Lees, her deisgner friend from Scotland. She also fluttered her eyelashes which, she tells me, grew back two days after she swum with dolphins.
I think David Tennant should be given all the plaudits, not just because he is a good actor but because he has had to cope wioth every media pundit banging on about him being Dr Who. He’s an actor for heavens sake, when he’s not treading the boards he tries to make a living in his chosen profession. More power to his elbow I say, and a massive big up to all the wonderful callers who gave good old Bill Shakespeare the thumbs up.
Tomorrow I will return to my chair in Latimer Road, spray the air with sacred space spray, take a deep breath and prattle on for three hours about meaningful things, I hope you will join me.